(Enter ELISE carrying a bag.)
ELISE
Im sorry Im late.
CARRIE
Oh, thats OK.
ELISE
Are you all right?
CARRIE
Fine, why do you ask?
ELISE
Youre sweating a lot.
CARRIE
Im fine.
ELISE
Something horribles happened. There was a woman in
the building I set on fire. Ive always been very
careful. I watch out for my boys, you know and make
sure no one gets burned or sprains even a fingertip.
Its not easy. Its a dangerous job but so far Ive
been successful but then some woman dressed like a
banker goes into condemned building Im burning down.
What was she doing there?
CARRIE
So what youre saying is that you burned down the
building? The one on the news where the woman was
taken out on a stretcher?
ELISE
Are you listening to me?
CARRIE
Isnt that what you said?
ELISE
Of course thats what I said.
CARRIE
I just wanted to be sure thats what you said.
ELISE
Whats with you?
CARRIE
Nothings with me. (Pause) My husband was just here.
ELISE
Stop talking about your husband.
CARRIE
(Louder)
I enjoy talking about my husband. I am fascinated by
all topics related to my HUSBAND.
ELISE
Can we get back to the session?
CARRIE
Yes, I . . . What does a cockatoo sound like?
ELISE
I dont think I should come here anymore.
CARRIE
You dont?
ELISE
I dont think youre helping me.
CARRIE
Of course I am. You really dont think Im helping
you.
ELISE
Well, Im still setting fires.
CARRIE
But youre in a relationship now. Thats going well.
ELISE
Only because I lie to him when he brings up his arson
investigations.
CARRIE
Sure, but apart from t hat, its going well isnt it?
I mean we all have our secrets. KUH KAW!!
ELISE
What are you doing?
CARRIE
KAW KAW! COCK A DOODLE DOO!!
ELISE
Stop that.
CARRIE
Sorry. Im going to go into the hall for a minute.
ELISE
Whats goin on?
CARRIE
Nothing.
ELISE
The cops are out there, arent they?
CARRIE
I told you to stop setting fires. I warned you. I
told you someone would get hurt.
ELISE
You bitch!
(ELISE slaps CARRIE.)
CARRIE
Ow. Help!
ELISE
Where are they? In the hallway? You cant hear
anything in the hallway. Otherwise all your patients
would know all the other patients secrets.
CARRIE
I know, but, HELP!
ELISE
Stop that.
CARRIE
Someone has to stop you.
ELISE
Well, it wont be you.
(ELISE takes a gas can from her bag and starts pouring
gas in a line on the floor.)
CARRIE
My rug! What are you doing?
ELISE
What do you think Im doing?
CARRIE
This is my office.
ELISE
Youre fired.
(ELISE lights a match and throw it on the ground which
goes up in flames*)
(CARRIE stands there a moment in shock while ELISE
climbs out the window.)
(CARRIE then runs into the hall screaming. A few
seconds later GARY TOMMY and JIMMY burst into the room
followed by CARRIE. GARY has an extinguisher and puts
out the fire.)
GARY
Whered she go?
CARRIE
Down the fire escape.