Jack And Jill Plays - Part 58 - A Lot Of Gnomes

a play by me.  Ask me before doing anything with it.

A Lot Of Gnomes
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK watching TV.  Enter JILL.)

JILL
Are we bad people?

JACK
No.

JILL
But what if we are?

JACK
I don't feel like I am.

JILL
What about me?

JACK
You too.

JILL
Okay but we have stupid lives, right?

JACK
Yeah.

JILL
Okay.  At least there's that.

(JILL eats a banana.  They watch TV.)

JACK
Oh and you should know I've been stealing garden gnomes from the surrounding towns for the last five years.  So if a cop shows up someday, don't let them in the shed.

JILL
Good to know.

JACK
There are a lot of gnomes.  Really a lot of gnomes.


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The Compass Podcast

Leah Walsh interviewed me at The Compass Podcast

http://thecompass.libsyn.com/podcast/episode-94-adam-szymkowicz

"Playwright Adam Szymkowicz (Pretty Theft, Hearts Like Fists, among many other plays) shares his experiences with the dark side, persistence, becoming a parent, advising young writers, and his interview series which has just come to an end after featuring 1,000 playwrights."

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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 57 - Catch

Play belongs to me.  Ask me before doing anything with it.  Thanks.

Catch
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK and his son, JACOB are throwing a football back and forth.)

JACK
Son?

JACOB
Yes, dad?

JACK
I feel like in this moment I should give you advice.  Like man advice.  Like advice my father passed down from his father.

JACOB
Okay.

JACK
But I can't think of anything.

JACOB
It'll come.

JACK
You think?  What if I have nothing to give?  What if I don't know anything?

JACOB
You know everything.

JACK
Yeah.

JACOB
Everything.

JACK
Even if I don't.   This moment.  This moment is what life is about.

JACOB
Football?  Catch?

JACK
No.  You know what I mean.

JACOB
I have an idea.

JACK
I know what I want to tell you.

(JACK goes to throw the ball but JACOB is not there.  It sails past him or JACOB has exited.)

JACK
Oh right.  Oh right.  You never lived this long, did you?  Did you?


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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 56 - Something Else

Play by me.  Ask me should you wish to do anything with it.

Something Else
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK with a bubble wand, blowing bubbles.  Enter JILL.)

JILL
Everything is impossible.

JACK
I know.  (Blows more bubbles)

JILL
Why do we bother?

JACK
Habit?  Mostly habit.  (Blows more bubbles)

JILL
Did you take care of that thing?

JACK
No.  (Blows more bubbles)

JILL
Are you gonna?

JACK
A little later. (Blows more bubbles)

JILL
We're on the same team, right?

JACK
Yeah.  Totally.

JILL
You got my back?

JACK
I got your back.

JILL
Just, don't . . . Whatever stupid thing you were gonna do next, please don't do it.

JACK
Oh.  ... ... ... Okay.  Yeah.  I'll do something else.  I'll just. . . do something else.

(JACK blows more bubbles)

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Talking Theater

I did this podcast with Marc Smith.  https://talkingtheater.com/adam-szymkowicz-playwright-spotlight/

"Adam shares with Marc about his inspiration for writing plays, lessons learned from his mentors and teachers including Marsha Norman and Christopher Durang, the questions he always asks before starting a new play, how he likes to work with directors and actors, his theater heroes and the contemporary playwrights whose work he admires, and stories about his super popular blog featuring playwright interviews and short plays."

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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 55 - Writer

let me know if you wish to do anything with any of these little plays.  I wrote them and you need my permission.

Writer
by Adam Szymkowicz

JACK
Jill is a writer.

(JILL sits at a typewriter, writes.)

JACK
She writes about a writer.

(A WRITER sits at another typewriter and writes)

JACK
The writer writes about a writer.

(ANOTHER WRITER sits at another typewriter and writes)

JACK
That writer writes about a writer.

(YET ANOTHER WRITER sits at another typewriter and writes)

JACK
And that writer writes about a duck.

(Enter DUCK.)

DUCK
Quack quack.

DUCK WRITER
Says the duck.

DUCK
Quack.  I want something.  Boy do I want something.  I want bread crumbs and open water.  I want a safe nesting place but what I most want, really is to contribute something worthwhile to the world.  I want to write!!

(DUCK sits at typewriter.)

JACK
The duck writes about a writer.


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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 54 - Five Dollars

All rights reserved.  Yes, those rights too.

Five Dollars
by Adam Szymkowicz


(JILL finds five dollars in her jacket pocket.)

JILL
Score!

(Enter JACK.)

JACK
Hey Jill, what's up?

JILL
I've begun the process of freeing my inner me.

JACK
Oh?

JILL
I'm taking back all that was taken from me.

JACK
Hmmm.

JILL
I'm opening all the doors, knocking over all the vases.

JACK
Cool.

JILL
I'm going to love fiercely.

JACK
Good.

JILL
I'm going to eat all the mud.  Vomit up the core.

JACK
Okay.

JILL
I'm going to be the true me.  The full me.  The biggest me.

JACK
Great!

JILL
Also I found five dollars in my pocket!

JACK
Cool!

JILL
What should I spend it on?

JACK
I don't know.  Five dollars!

JILL
Five dollars!
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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 53 - Times Change

play written by me.  All right reserved.  For real.

Times Change
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JILL and a DINOSAUR smoke cigarettes or maybe they vape.)

DINOSAUR
So I said, "No, you're fired!"

JILL
To your boss?

DINOSAUR
Yeah.  It didn't make a lot of sense but it felt good in the moment.

JILL
You just described most of my decisions.

DINOSAUR
Sorry.

JILL
That's nice of you to say.  Sorry about your job.

DINOSAUR
I think this dinosaur wasn't meant to sit behind a desk.

JILL
Sure.

DINOSAUR
This dinosaur was meant to roam free.

JILL
So what then?

DINOSAUR
I'm going to teach English comp and go back on food stamps.

JILL
Solid plan.

DINOSAUR
But maybe something else will come along.

(They both look up at the sky.)

DINOSAUR
Been there a long time, hasn't it?

JILL
It's getting closer.

DINOSAUR
What is it?

JILL
Probably nothing. We can't worry about things that might happen.

DINOSAUR
You think it will smash into us?

JILL
Maybe.  I don't know.  Let's not worry about it.  You want to see a duck who's friends with a kitten?

DINOSAUR
Boy do I!

(JILL plays a video on her phone for DINOSAUR.)


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