Jack And Jill Plays - Part 34 - Birthday

About Jack and Jill Plays:

This is a new thing I'm doing.  Posting a short play every day as long as I can.  

The normal things about plays apply-- don't produce or reproduce this play without my permission.  I wrote it so I own it.  Etc.


Birthday
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK at a table, glum.  Enter JILL carrying a cake.)

JILL
Happy Birthday!

JACK
Thanks!  Yeah.  Thanks.

JILL
You're old.

JACK
I'm old.

JILL
So you gonna have a mid life crisis now?

JACK
Thanks for bringing that up.  I've been thinking about that a lot actually.  Should I start a motorcycle gang?  Change my hair?  Dress young?  Pierce my eyebrow?    And I decided after a lot of thought not to do anything.

JILL
No?

JACK
No.  I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing until I die.

JILL
It sounds like you've given up.

JACK
Yeah.  I -- maybe yeah.  But why change?  It won't make a difference.

JILL
I got a tattoo.

JACK
You did?  Let me see.

(She shows him.)

JACK
Oh.  Yeah.  Look at that.  That's cool.

JILL
You want to get one?

JACK
No.  I don't know.  No.  Maybe.  No.  Maybe a dump truck.

JILL
A dump truck?

JACK
On my arm.

JILL
A dump truck?

JACK
You're right.

JILL
I mean maybe.

JACK
Let's just eat the cake.

(JILL hands him a fork.  He begins to eat the cake.)

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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 33 - See What We Get

About Jack and Jill Plays:

This is a new thing I'm doing.  Posting a short play every day as long as I can.  

The normal things about plays apply-- don't produce or reproduce this play without my permission.  I wrote it so I own it.  Etc.

See What We Get
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK and JILL in a rowboat or a canoe.  They row or paddle.)

JILL
You want to practice?

JACK
No.

JILL
I think you should practice.

JACK
That's okay.

JILL
I Insist.

JACK
I don't want to.

JILL
It'll make you more confident.

JACK
I don't want to be confident.

JILL
Why not?

JACK
I want to be authentic in the moment.  Not fake confident and then they hire me and they'll be like where did that confident guy go that we hired -- now we got this guy.  Better to never be confident.

JILL
Better to get the job.

JACK
Right.  Okay.  That's a fair point.

JILL
Great.  (as interviewer) Nice to meet you, Jack.  Why did you apply for this job.

JACK
I can't do this.  Can we just not?  I want to be unrehearsed.  I want to speak from the heart.  If the job is right it will all work out.

JILL
No.  You need a job.  You make the job right.

JACK
Yeah.  But.  If I try to make stuff up, it'll be bad.  I'll be bad at it.  Better to just say what I'm thinking.

JILL
What are you thinking?

JACK
I'm thinking I don't want this job.

JILL
I know that's what you're thinking.  I need you think think something else.

JACK
Can we just not talk for a while and cast out our lines and see what we get?

(JILL silently agrees.  They both fish.)


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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 32 - It's Me

About Jack and Jill Plays:

This is a new thing I'm doing.  Posting a short play every day as long as I can.  

The normal things about plays apply-- don't produce or reproduce this play without my permission.  I wrote it so I own it.  Etc.

It's Me
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JILL at a bar with a drink.  Enter JACK.)

JACK
Hey!  Hi, you.

JILL
Hi.

JACK
How's it all going?

JILL
I'm supposed to know you, huh?

JACK
What?

JILL
We know each other?

JACK
Ha!

JILL
Sorry.  It's-  I should tell you.  I was in an accident.

JACK
You look good.

JILL
I have brain damage.  My long term memory is fucked.  And I know who I am but I don't know who a lot of people are.  Like people I knew before the accident.

JACK
It's me.  You should remember me.  I mean look at me.  Really look at me.

(She looks.  She really looks.)

JILL
Sorry.

JACK
It's Jack.

JILL
Jack!

JACK
You remember?

JILL
No, but people talked about you.

JACK
What did they say?

JILL
We're divorced.

JACK
Oh, yeah.  That's-- That's true.

JILL
Why are we... why did we get divorced?

JACK
Oh, um.  It was you.  You were afraid of how much I loved you.  And how much you loved me.  Yeah, mostly that.  Terrified of love.  So you broke it off.

JILL
Really?

JACK
Yup.

JILL
Buy you a drink?

JACK
Sure.  Sure.  What are you drinking?

JILL
Sprite and vodka.

JACK
Sprite?

JILL
Yeah.

JACK
Sprite?

JILL
Yeah.

JACK
Huh.

JILL
So tell me about me.

JACK
I got stories.  Wait till you hear all the stories I got.

JILL
I can't wait.

JACK
One time.  You killed this snake.

JILL
I did?

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Jack and Jill Plays - Part 31 - A Proposal

About Jack and Jill Plays:

This is a new thing I'm doing.  Posting a short play every day as long as I can.  

The normal things about plays apply-- don't produce or reproduce this play without my permission.  I wrote it so I own it.  Etc.

A Proposal
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK and JILL seated somewhere.  JACK is doing something nervously like whittling or something completely different than that.)

JILL
I think because it's hard.

JACK
Yeah.

JILL
Like I want everything to be hard for myself.

JACK
Okay.

JILL
So I'm like why don't I just throw myself into this new world where I don't know how to do anything.

JACK
Right.

JILL
And like I don't know the future, none of us does.

JACK
I know.

JILL
But I could stay with what's safe or just go try something completely new and I'm like forget everything I know.  I'm going to make my life hard.

JACK
Right so-- What are we talking about now?

JILL
What do you mean?

JACK
I mean are you going to marry me or not?

JILL
Oh.  Right.

JACK
I asked.

JILL
Yeah.

JACK
And I got that ring.

JILL
Right.  Let me think about it.

JACK
Okay.

JILL
I'm going to think about it some more.


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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 30 - Sick

About Jack and Jill Plays:

This is a new thing I'm doing.  Posting a short play every day as long as I can.  

The normal things about plays apply-- don't produce or reproduce this play without my permission.  I wrote it so I own it.  Etc.


SICK
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK lies on a couch or bed.  JILL sits nearby.)

JACK
I'm sick!  I'm sick!

JILL
I heard you.

JACK
I'm so sick.  I've never felt so sick.

JILL
Yes you have.

JACK
Okay, maybe I have been this sick before.  But I am very sick.

JILL
I know.

JACK
Ow.

JILL
I know.

JACK
Will I ever get better?

JILL
Of course.  It's just the flu.  It's just a cold.  It's just a virus.  It's just pink eye.  It's just strep throat.  It's just Hand Foot and Mouth disease.  It's just a fever.  It's just life.

JACK
Am I dying?

JILL
You're not dying.

JACK
Okay.  Okay then.  I wish I felt better.

JILL
Me too.

JACK
I'm sick!  I'm sick!


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I Interview Playwrights Part 993: Bert V. Royal

Bert V. Royal

Hometown: Green Cove Springs, FL

Current Town: Los Angeles, CA

Q:  What are you working on now?

A:  Mostly floating around the TV space with a few pilots. One is with Legendary Television and the other is with the Mark Gordon Company and they’re both in development. Still trying to get the ‘Dog Sees God’ movie up and running. Theatre-wise, I just started writing a play that I’m really into. I recently watched an old season of ‘Big Brother’ and I became fascinated with Dan Gheesling. The play imagines a fictitious version of him on a fictitious reality show and a very disturbing (fictitious) event happens…

Q:  Tell me, if you will, a story from your childhood that explains who you are as a writer or as a person.

A:  When I was in fourth grade, I decided to write a novel. This is really embarrassing. It was called ‘Slipping Into the Subconscious’ and I think it was about a guy who couldn’t tell if he was dreaming or not and someone got murdered and it was really bad and made absolutely no sense and clocked in at a whopping fourteen pages (handwritten). Typed, probably would’ve been six and a half. I was convinced it was going to be published. AS A NOVEL. Truly convinced. I was a very unique type of child. I still to this day and am delusional about certain projects.

Q:  If you could change one thing about theater, what would it be?

A:  I think audiences can be insufferably rude. If someone talks in a theater during a live performance, I want them to be decapitated in public. So, to answer your question, I’d be the only person in the audience.

Q:  Who are or were your theatrical heroes?

A:  Stephen Sondheim is my everything. I love him more than anyone will ever comprehend. Also, Doug Wright is an absolute genius. The scope of that man’s talents are unfathomable.

Q:  What kind of theater excites you?

A:  I really love musicals - but I tend to gravitate to more intimate ones, i.e. First Lady Suite and First Daughter Suite (perfection!), Floyd Collins, Caroline or Change (does it get any better?). I love plays that tend to border on the absurd. And I’m really getting into the immersive theater thing.

Q:  What advice do you have for playwrights just starting out?

A:  It’s so important to hear your stuff out loud. Even unfinished - maybe ESPECIALLY unfinished. Get a group of great friends and read it around your coffee table with wine. It helps you find your rhythm and it’s always good to listen to feedback from people you trust. You shouldn’t always just take everyone’s notes. But it’s a good thing to listen.

Q:  When not writing on a computer, what's your go-to paper and writing utensil? When on computer, what's your font?

A:  I really don’t write on paper anymore, because I’m a loser. I can never find a pen. It’s a comedy when it happens. TRAJAN PRO is the greatest font ever created.

Q:  Plugs, please:

A:  Yeah. I say that all the time. Balding sucks.

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Jack and Jill Plays - Part 29 - Persistence

About Jack and Jill Plays:

This is a new thing I'm doing.  Posting a short play every day as long as I can.  This does not mean that I wrote this play today but I might have.  (My life is not always my own what with work and a 4 year old running around so maybe I wrote it today or maybe it was stockpiled in preparation for the days I can't get in writing.)  My goal is to do at least 100 of these or maybe more but probably 45 or 50 is the length of a full length play so even that would be good.  100 would be better.  300?  amazing.  500?  Does anyone want 500 of these plays?  Anyway, the goal is consecutive days.

The normal things about plays apply-- don't produce or reproduce this play without my permission.  I wrote it so I own it.  Etc.

Persistence
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK pushes a lawnmower onstage. He pulls the cord to try and start it. It won't start. He pulls again and again and again and again. It doesn't start. He pulls again and again and again and again. This goes on for a long time. Much more time than is reasonable. JANE enters and watches. She exits. She returns with a lawn chair and popcorn. She eats popcorn, watches. Opens a cooler, drinks a beer. He keeps trying. She exits again, carrying a tiny plastic kiddie pool. She exits again. Enters with a hose. She exits again. We hear the water turn on. She sits again, puts her feet in the pool. Sits back. Eats and drinks. All this time, he has been trying to start the lawnmower. After a while he looks up.)

JANE
Beer?

(JACK gets a beer out of the cooler, takes a long drink.)

JANE
What do you think?

JACK
I'm going to keep trying.

JANE
Mmm.

(JACK goes back to trying to start it. JANE watches.)

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