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1000 PLAYWRIGHT INTERVIEWS

1000 Playwright Interviews The first interview I posted was on June 3, 2009.  It was Jimmy Comtois.  I decided I would start interview...

Oct 18, 2017

Jack and Jill Plays - Part 63 - So




yet another play.  please talk to me if you should wish to use this for something.

So
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK on stage.  Bars appear before him.  He is in Jail.)

JACK
Thank you for coming.  It's been a whirlwind.  Truly an honor.  People ask me.  They say, "Jack, how do you do it?"  Well, today, I'm here to tell you all my secrets.  I don't want to say it's easy to be me and to do all the things I've done.  But with practice and persistence, you too can accomplish what I managed to accomplish in a few simple steps.  But you have to believe in yourself.  And you have to trust your worst instincts.

How to find yourself in jail, Part 1: The Awakening.  First maybe there is something in your life that you know you shouldn't do.  This is maybe something you also really want to do.  It might be physical violence or illegal drugs.  It might be grand theft auto or bank robbery.  Or maybe it's stealing gnomes from people's yards.  So the first thing is that even though you know you shouldn't do this, you do this thing.  And then you do it again.  And again.  And again.  Until you have like a lot of gnomes.  Like a whole lot.  Like someone might come over and see them and go, "Why do you have so many gnomes?  What can someone even do with that many gnomes?  Why would you do this"

And maybe there's no easy answer.  Except you know, the normal ones.  Bad childhood.  Hole inside you nothing will fill.  Sexual deviancy.

And then one day, you're a little sloppy and someone sees you and recognizes you and then the cops are there asking questions.  And you answer the questions truthfully because at the end of the day, you just want it to be over and as they say, light is the best disinfectant.  I also like white vinegar because it's non-toxic and I don't mind the smell.  So the cops are there with their guns and their badges and their serious faces and they ask you point blank.  So you bring them out to the shed and they say, "Holy shit," and then they take you for a ride.  And that's why I'm here.  So.  That. Is. How.

But you may ask, "What next?" "What are your future plans now that this exciting project has come to an end?" and I have to admit, I don't really know.  I never thought that far.  It's a relief and also, you know of course I don't feel any better, at all.  So... So ...So.  So.  Sob.


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Oct 17, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 62 - Mountain


new play.  all rights reserved.

Mountain
by Adam Szymkowicz

(A mountain of books.  JACK and JILL climb up the mountain.  they slide down.  They climb up.  they slide down.  JACK sits at the bottom and begins to read a book that has fallen open.  JILL continues to climb and slide down.)

JACK
Someday.  It'll all be over.

JILL
No.

(JILL continues to climb.)

 
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Oct 16, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 61 - And Then Jill



another short play.  talk to me before doing anything with it.


And Then Jill
by Adam Szymkowicz

JACK
And the sun came out.

SUN
Hi.  I'm the sun.

JACK
And the sun revolved around her.

(SUN walks slowly around JILL.)

JILL
Hey stop that.

JACK
And the stars came out.

STARS
Hi.  We're the stars.

JACK
And they sang to her.

STARS
Twinkle Twinkle Little Us
How I wonder what's the fuss

JILL
Yeah. okay.  But.  No.

JACK
And the birds came out.

BIRDS
We're the birds.

JACK
And they said her name.

BIRDS
Jill-Jill Jill-Jill.

JILL
Can we stop now.

JACK
And she smiled.  And then everything stopped.

(Everyone freezes.  JILL smiles, or doesn't.  Everyone exits.)

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Oct 15, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 60 - Trust


Trust
by Adam Szymkowicz

(LOCKSMITH changing a lock.  JILL watches.)

LOCKSMITH
Almost done.

JILL
Thanks!

LOCKSMITH
No problem.  I should give you a punchcard.

JILL
I know.  I know.  How many before I get one free?

LOCKSMITH
Let's call this one free.

JILL
I was kidding.  You don't have to do that.

LOCKSMITH
(Handing her the keys.)
Look.  I shouldn't say this but . . .

JILL
Then don't say it.

LOCKSMITH
You're right.  Sorry.

JILL
No.  Go ahead.  Go ahead.  Say what you want to say.

LOCKSMITH
It's none of my business but maybe you don't need to give each new boyfriend your house keys.

JILL
Yeah.

LOCKSMITH
I mean it's none of my business.

JILL
I always think, thins time it will be different.  But then it doesn't work out.  And then - -

LOCKSMITH
You don't trust them to just give the keys back?

JILL
I might be bad at choosing men.

LOCKSMITH
We all have our flaws.

JILL
I'll think about it.  I want to trust.  I do.

LOCKSMITH
Sure.

JILL
Maybe next time, I'll wait longer.  Maybe he can wait outside.

LOCKSMITH
Sure.

JILL
But probably I'll just make the same mistakes over and over.

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Oct 14, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 59 - Everyone



play by me.  ask me before doing anything with it.


EVERYONE
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JILL is on her phone.)

EVERYONE
Hey!  Hey! Pay attention to me.

JILL
Yeah, totally.  Sorry everybody.  Um, I just have to um . . .

EVERYONE
Pay attention to me now!  I'm not fucking around!

JILL
I can't do everything all the time!

EVERYONE
You have to do more.

JILL
I know.

EVERYONE
A lot more.

JILL
Fuck.  I'm going to smash my head in with a rock?

EVERYONE
What?  Don't do that.  Fine.  You're enough.  You're almost enough.

JILL
You're lying.

EVERYONE
Why don't you shut off your phone.

(JILL shuts off her phone.  She looks around.  There is no one anywhere.)



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Oct 13, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 58 - A Lot Of Gnomes



a play by me.  Ask me before doing anything with it.

A Lot Of Gnomes
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK watching TV.  Enter JILL.)

JILL
Are we bad people?

JACK
No.

JILL
But what if we are?

JACK
I don't feel like I am.

JILL
What about me?

JACK
You too.

JILL
Okay but we have stupid lives, right?

JACK
Yeah.

JILL
Okay.  At least there's that.

(JILL eats a banana.  They watch TV.)

JACK
Oh and you should know I've been stealing garden gnomes from the surrounding towns for the last five years.  So if a cop shows up someday, don't let them in the shed.

JILL
Good to know.

JACK
There are a lot of gnomes.  Really a lot of gnomes.


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The Compass Podcast



Leah Walsh interviewed me at The Compass Podcast

http://thecompass.libsyn.com/podcast/episode-94-adam-szymkowicz

"Playwright Adam Szymkowicz (Pretty TheftHearts Like Fists, among many other plays) shares his experiences with the dark side, persistence, becoming a parent, advising young writers, and his interview series which has just come to an end after featuring 1,000 playwrights."

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Oct 12, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 57 - Catch



Play belongs to me.  Ask me before doing anything with it.  Thanks.

Catch
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK and his son, JACOB are throwing a football back and forth.)

JACK
Son?

JACOB
Yes, dad?

JACK
I feel like in this moment I should give you advice.  Like man advice.  Like advice my father passed down from his father.

JACOB
Okay.

JACK
But I can't think of anything.

JACOB
It'll come.

JACK
You think?  What if I have nothing to give?  What if I don't know anything?

JACOB
You know everything.

JACK
Yeah.

JACOB
Everything.

JACK
Even if I don't.   This moment.  This moment is what life is about.

JACOB
Football?  Catch?

JACK
No.  You know what I mean.

JACOB
I have an idea.

JACK
I know what I want to tell you.

(JACK goes to throw the ball but JACOB is not there.  It sails past him or JACOB has exited.)

JACK
Oh right.  Oh right.  You never lived this long, did you?  Did you?


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