Jack And Jill Plays - Part 52 - So Hard.

new very short play.  All rights reserved.  That means you must get my permission should you want to do anything with this very short play.

(JACK and JILL.  JACK is opening a bottle of wine.)

So Hard
by Adam Szymkowicz

JACK
It's so hard.

JILL
I know.

JACK
Day in.  Day out.

JILL
I know.

JACK
I can't go on.

JILL
What would you do instead?

JACK
Give up?  Join the circus.

JILL
Circus work is hard work.  Harder than what you do.

JACK
Retire, then.

JILL
You have to work a long time first and make a lot of money.

JACK
Yeah.  Become a bum then.

JILL
You don't want to do that.  You know what you should do?

JACK
No, what?

JILL
Just keep working and stop complaining.

JACK
Yeah.

JILL
I'm tired of it.

JACK
I know.

JILL
Now will you open the bottle of wine?

(JACK finishes opening the bottle.  He pours two glasses.  They toast.  They drink.)

JILL
Right?

JACK
It's pretty good.

JILL
It's really good.

JACK
Maybe I could be a sommelier.

JILL
No.

JACK
What about you?

JILL
I thought you'd never ask.  I'm going to start making oven mitts.

JACK
Oven mitts?

JILL
Yeah.

JACK
Oven mitts?

JILL
Yes.  They are all terrible.  We can do better.  As humans.  We can do so much better.

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Jack and Jill Plays - Part 51 - Another Year

new play.  don't reproduce or produce without my permission.

Another Year
by Adam Szymkowicz


(JILL is reading a letter or writing a letter she wrote.)

JILL
All The Things I Never Said

One
Some days I can't stand you.

Two
Your kindness makes me cry sometimes.

Three
I wish you would clean out the fridge without me asking.

Four
I don't want to talk about it.

Five
Can one human ever really know another, like really know?

Six
I don't think I'm enough like what I wish I was.

Seven
I'm not enough.

Eight
I can never be what you want me to be.

Nine
Just give me five minutes.

Ten
I just want to take a shower.

Eleven
Make your own food.

Twelve
Are these bad shoes?

Thirteen
I'm gonna stop drinking.

Fourteen
I'm never going to stop drinking.

Fifteen
I hate that I'm mortal.

Sixteen
Don't wake me up.  Just don't.

Seventeen
Another year has passed and I'm no different.

Sigh.




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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 50 - Forbidden Fruit

a new play.  Don't do anything with it before you ask me.  Thanks.

Forbidden Fruit
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK and JILL and SNAKE in the garden.  JACK and JILL are not wearing a lot.)


SNAKE
So you gotta eat the fruit.

JACK
I don't want to eat the fruit.  I mean are there cookies.

JILL
Eat the fruit.

SNAKE
Eat it.

JILL
It's good for you.  Look.  I'm eating it too.

JACK
I know.  I just don't want to.

SNAKE
Eat it!

JILL
For once will you just make a better choice?  I'm tired of all the bad choices you make.

JACK
Fine.  Fine.  Look.  I'm eating it.  See?

JILL
It's good, right?

JACK
It's good.

SNAKE
I'll see you guys later.

(Exit SNAKE.)

JACK
Wait a minute.  Were we allowed to eat this fruit?

JILL
Why wouldn't be allowed to eat fruit.

JACK
I feel like someone told me something about the fruit over here.

JILL
Maybe.

JACK
I'm almost sure.

JILL
Do you feel different after eating it?

JACK
A little.  Like I know better that I don't know anything.

JILL
Harmless.

JACK
Are you cold?

JILL
A little.

JACK
We should put something on.

JILL
Okay.

JACK
You think we could get in trouble?  For eating it?

JILL
I know!   We'll write a note.  Take this down.

(JAKE gets paper and writes.)

JILL
This is just to say

We have eaten
The fruits
that were on
the tree

and which
we think we were probably
not supposed
to eat

Forgive us
They were pretty good
and we feel
only a little different

JACK
Good.  I'll put it under the rock.

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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 49 - Prague

this is my play.  all rights reserved.  (so like if you want to do something with it, ask me first.)

Prague
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK and JILL sitting on the grass.)

JILL
I feel like this moment right here--

JACK
This moment?

JILL
Yeah.  It might be one I remember forever.  It all depends on what you say next.

(A long pause.)

JACK
That's too much pressure.

JILL
Or maybe I'll think of us and remember sitting on the grass, listening to the birds, not doing anything.

JACK
Maybe.

JILL
When I'm so busy someday maybe I'll remember this.

JACK
I'll remember Prague.

JILL
Prague.  Sure.  Prague.  (pause) I am sorry.

JACK
Let's not talk about it.

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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 48 - Raccoon

a short play.  don't do anything with it unless you ask me first, you know?

Raccoon
by Adam Szymkowicz


(JACK is playing with a slinky.  Enter JILL.)

JILL
Hey Jack.

JACK
Hey Jill.

JILL
Did you know we'll all die someday?

JACK
I didn't know that.  Can we come back as raccoons?

JILL
Yes.

JACK
Cool.

JILL
Also--

JACK
What?

JILL
I'm sleeping with Sarah.

JACK
Oh.  I always liked Sarah.

JILL
Me too.  Me too.  That's why we did some nasty together.  It's over now of course.  Which is why I'm telling you.

JACK
To upset me.

JILL
To feel better.

JACK
Oh.

JILL
But yeah, I guess I upset you, huh?

JACK
Yeah.  You did do that.  Ow.  It feels like pain.  A little.  Ow.  Mmm.  Oh.  I'm gonna go then.

JILL
What?

JACK
I'm moving out.

JILL
Why so?

JACK
Betrayal.

JILL
Oh.

JACK
I dislike betrayal.

JILL
I see.

JACK
So I'm moving out.

JILL
I shouldn't have told you.

JACK
I don't know.  Yeah.  Maybe.  I've been thinking about The Stranger and I think.  I think.  He just shouldn't have shot the Arab.

JILL
I see that.  I see that.  Sure.  So you'll move out?

JACK
Yeah.  I feel like I should yell things but I don't feel like it.

JILL
Okay.

JACK
I'm taking the TV.

JILL
Yeah.  I get that.

(JACK exits dejected.)

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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 47 - What Happened?

another short new play.  you must ask my permission if you wish to do anything with it.  Thanks!

What Happened?
by Adam Szymkowicz

JILL
It's the end of an era.

JACK
Is it?

JILL
I remember when.  Before.  Way back.

JACK
Yeah.

JILL
Do you remember?

JACK
I remember some things.

JILL
We were so young.

JACK
Yeah.

JILL
And full of beans.

JACK
Yeah.

JILL
What happened?

JACK
I've been thinking about this and I think . . . now hear me out . .  I think we became who we were supposed to be.

JILL
Huh.  Maybe.  Okay.  Maybe.  But also, maybe not yet.

JACK
Soon?

JILL
Maybe soon.

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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 46 - Transformation

Play by me.  All rights reserved.  Contact me if you wish to produce or reproduce.

Transformation
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK and JILL are wrestling.  It's sort of like WWE.  Ridiculous moves.  Posturing.  It goes on for a while until one of them wins.  You decide who that is based on what makes sense for your actors or whose turn it is or whatever.)

WINNER
Ha!

LOSER
I know.

WINNER
Ha!  HA!

LOSER
Yeah yeah.  Two out of three?

WINNER
No.  I can't do that again.

LOSER
Then maybe I win.  You default.

WINNER
I won.  We can all agree I won.

LOSER
Whatever.

WINNER
I won.

LOSER
Want to play chess?

WINNER
No.

LOSER
You're afraid to lose?

WINNER
Yeah.  I need this to feel good about myself right now.

LOSER
Okay.  Fine.  I'm going to go eat a cookie.

WINNER
I want a cookie.  Maybe I shouldn't.

LOSER
You shouldn't.

WINNER
I think I'm going to wake up tomorrow a completely new person.

LOSER
Really?

WINNER
Yeah.

LOSER
Me too.

(As they exit.)

WINNER
Don't take my thing.  You always do that.

LOSER
We can both have a transformation.

WINNER
I guess.
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Jack And Jill Plays - Part 45 - Lasagna

New short play.  Ask my permission if you want to do anything with it.

Lasagna
by Adma Szymkowicz

(JACK whittling a stick, barefoot.  Enter JILL.)

JILL
Whatcha doin'?

JACK
Whittlin'.

JILL
Huh.

JACK
Yup.

JILL
The world moves past you and you sit there without any shoes on.

JACK
Yup.

JILL
I could do that.

JACK
Sure.

JILL
But I won't.

JACK
Yeah.

JILL
Wanna hear about my studies?

JACK
Sure.  How are your studies going?

JILL
Good.  I'm moving towards something.  Refining my mind.  Moving forward.

JACK
That's good.  I'm making this stick pointier.

JILL
Are you making dinner?

JACK
I could make dinner but if I'm making dinner, it's lasagna.

JILL
Okay.

JACK
Okay.

(Exit JILL.)

JACK
Hey!  You still there?  Hey!  You ghost!  Are you still there?  No?  No?

(JACK listens really hard.  Sounds of wind.  Jack looks up.)


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