a Christmas song for you

**warning: explicit content. may not be appropriate for people like my relatives who might decide to read my blog right before xmas. end of warning** I gave my heart to Jesus When I was just thirteen He was the sweetest deity I had ever seen He gave his soul to save us He gave his life to God But when I think of Jesus I don’t think of his bod I think of someone jolly I think of someone bright Someone who watches me In the middle of the night Someone a little husky and a trifle overfed Someone who gulps milk And gingerman bread Someone unshaven Who's always in red That’s the man I’m cravin’ In my Christmas bed Cause, I want to f*ck Saint Nick I want to suck on that candy cane dick Is it nice, naughty, or against the laws I don’t care I want to f*ck Santa Claus Another office party Halls all decked with cheer Mistletoe and presents “What do you want this year” After three more cups I’ll f*ck whoever’s here Peter from accounting Is who I’ll be mounting Josh from shipping and receiving Is asking when I’m leaving Andrew from HR Is going to get his car Michael the VP wants to give me a VD But they’re all a bunch of cretins, louts, and dopes I want someone else to show me the ropes You know what I want for Christmas I want to f*ck Saint Nick I want to suck on that candy cane dick Is it nice, naughty, or against the laws I don’t care I want to f*ck Santa Claus I’m getting kind of itchy The hour’s fast approaching It’s the night before Christmas I could use some coaching Would Santa like leather? Would he prefer lace? When he comes down the chimney Should I just sit on his face? Do I need to knock off his old lady? Just in case I’m hanging round the chimney With a smile on my face I want to f*ck Saint Nick I want to suck on that candy cane dick Is it nice, naughty, or against the laws I don’t care I want to f*ck Santa Claus

update

the biopsy says it's an allergic reaction

but to what?

I need to get rid of this fucking thing.

Yay! oh, but we're no Finland.

http://www.avltheatre.com/forte/2007/12/roughly_1200th_as_much_per_cap.html

'tis the season to donate

other places to give this holiday season Exciting new theater!! Page 73 Clubbed Thumb Nosedive Productions Caring about humans! BROADWAY CARES/EQUITY FIGHTS AIDS Heifer International City Harvest And of course you can play this for free to give rice while proving how smart you are: Freerice

I want to read plays

Someone explain this to me:

Why is there no online bookstore that has all play publishers?

If I want to read a bunch of plays by a particular playwright, how do
I track them down?

It's easy if they're published by DPS or Sam French, but the other
publishers suck at visibility.

There should be an aggregate.

Is there one that exists that I'm missing?

the numbers

throat cultures
2

urine samples
2

times blood taken
2

dermatology biopsy
1

medications given
3

doctors seen by appointment
3

doctors and other medical staff who came in the room yesterday to look
at my rash
7? maybe 8.

number of tiny red dots on skin
very many still

what's wrong with Adam?
strep? mono? virus? allergy?
we're not exactly sure still.
but there are some test results we're waiting for.
nobody eat any peanuts because we just don't know what will happen.

supply closet

overworked at work. talk soon

from the Blue Coyotes

I love them. I fully support you supporting them.

Blue Coyote Theater Group 380 Broadway 4th Fl. New York, NY 10013 Blue Coyote Website -Click Here Why Donate? -Click Here Donate Via Credit Card -Click Here

We're proud to say that Blue Coyote Theater Group has continued to thrive in 2007. And we don't just mean settling into our new home at the Access Theater, or overseeing the exciting improvements there. The truth is that we continue to produce inspiring, irreverent, and unpredictable theater all throughout the year and nothing can hold us back�except cash. In 2007, we: Continued to nurture the next generation of great American playwrights with acclaimed productions of David Johnston's The Oresteia, Matthew Freeman's award-winning Interview With The Author, and Kristen Palmer's Departures. Extended our wildly successful Standards of Decency Project, featuring nine original short plays by our favorite playwrights. Won a promotional grant from the Lower Manhattan Cultural Council to redesign our website and install a BCTG sign on Broadway! Were named 2006 People Of The Year by NYTheatre.com! �and with our October presentation of Kristen Palmer's Departures, we reached an remarkable milestone: our 20th full-scale production. To continue all these efforts, we're announcing the 2007 Year-End Fund Drive. Our goal is to raise $15,000 from our friends, family, and audiences. We're trying to get 50% of our patrons and fans to make some contribution, of any size, by December 31st, 2007. You can contribute by writing a check to Blue Coyote Theater Group at the address above or clicking on the Donate Now link below. 2008 is certain to be our best year yet, but we need your participation to pull it off. By making a contribution, you help ensure that our distinctive brand of theater makes it to the stage. And if you know someone who would like to give, but might not yet be on our list, please forward this email to them! Every little bit helps. All the best to you and yours this holiday season, The Coyotes (Bob, Kyle, Gary & Stephen) P.S. Save the date for Blue Coyote's post-holiday My Body Is A Temple Party on Saturday, January 12th, 2008. You'll want to treat yourself right!