first draft of a new scene

FOUR

(MIRANDA and JOHN enter the office area shouting at
one another.)

JOHN
You know what you are? You're a spoiled brat!

MIRANDA
Why don't you fire me then, huh? Go ahead and fire
me, big shot!

JOHN
You're so incredibly young.

MIRANDA
You're old!

JOHN
Immature.

MIRANDA
Overly mature!

JOHN
It's sad.

MIRANDA
It is! You pathetic cloying man! Clawing your way to
middle management! Reeking of Old Spice and
Listerine! Ironing your handkerchiefs alone every
night!

JOHN
I use Kleenex!

MIRANDA
Ironing your Kleenex.

JOHN
One of these days, Miranda—

MIRANDA
John.

JOHN
One of these days you won't be able to extricate
yourself from one of your situations. You'll create a
mess you can't get out of and then what will you do if
someone like me isn't here to help you out of your
mess.

MIRANDA
There is always someone like you around. You're one
of the many expendable barely competent people who
populate our world. And I don't mean that as a
compliment!

JOHN
You bitch!

MIRANDA
What's that?

JOHN
You ungrateful bitch! I should fire you.

MIRANDA
Go ahead.

JOHN
I should!

MIRANDA
Do it!

JOHN
Don't tell me what to do!

(BRIAN has arrived.)

BRIAN
Good morning.

JOHN
Hi.

MIRANDA
Good morning, Brian.

JOHN
I'll be in my office. We'll talk about this later.

(Exit JOHN.)

MIRANDA
I'm sorry you had to see that.

BRIAN
See what?

MIRANDA
Whatever you saw.

BRIAN
Oh.