monologue cut from Susan Gets Some Play

Susan. They said she had the face that launched one
hundred thousand battleships to the galaxy Thendore.
Her name was Lieutenant Susan Louise O'Connor and the
first time I saw her I knew why this war had been
raging through the galaxy for a thousand years. You
see, when Kinglores see something beautiful, they have
to have it and when they first saw Susan, anyone could
have predicted that it would tear their race apart and
destroy countless planets, disrupt the universal
balance and kill many a young hotshot fresh-faced from
the Star Hopper Academy for Advanced Life. There was
just no other way it could have played out. Also
there was no way to avoid the fact that I too would
fall under her charms, like it or not, I was hooked.
It was the face she had. The face that tore the
universe apart and had grown men armwrestling and
partaking in fluevogeling contests.