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1000 Playwright Interviews The first interview I posted was on June 3, 2009.  It was Jimmy Comtois.  I decided I would start interview...

Mar 24, 2006

a scene I cut out of Pretty Theft

SCENE 29 (In the Motel room, the air turns strange. We are in a dream. MARCO is gone. The other cast members enter as dancers and creatures to begin another ballet.) (SUZY is still on the floor.)

BALLERINA 1 Deep in a chemically induced slumber, Suzy has a dream.

BALLERINA 2 Omigod! Are you Ok?

SUZY What?

BALLERINA 1 There’s something wrong with you.

SUZY Not me, I’m special I’m fine. I’m good. Not like any other.

BALLERINA 2 You really don’t know, do you?

BOBBY (as a medic) Miss, are you all right.


BOBBY You’ve been in a terrible accident, you've fallen from . . . well, you may still be falling.

SUZY What’s going on?

(DANCERS all look up in horror and run around frantic.)

BOBBY You’ll be OK. I’m here to help you.

SUZY No one ever helps me.

BOBBY I will.

SUZY I have unique and special needs. I’m not used to them being fulfilled.

BOBBY Let me know what they are. No, don’t try to get up. Tell me how I can help.

SUZY To start, I require strength both from others and from myself.


SUZY I am drastically underrated. I don’t know how to play the stock market but have a strong belief I could figure it out in good time. I have a strong backstroke and wish I could get around merely by swimming.

BOBBY Interesting.

SUZY Thank you. I have to dance whenever I hear any sort of music from the 80’s. Even ads for soda and kitty litter jingles. I prefer not to dance alone.

BOBBY Of course

SUZY Good. I will need to grandstand at least once a week. Don’t be surprised if I do it in my pajamas that is if I wear pajamas to bed that night. Grandstanding must be done immediately in the morning on the first day one feels that special something. You shall not grandstand not unless you can prove that you too feel that special something, which of course you will not be able to do.


SUZY You must prove to me that I’m the most important thing there is. You must adore me and accept me and approve of all I do.

BOBBY I’m falling in love with you.

SUZY Of course. Now kiss me.

BOBBY Yes ma’am.

BALLERINA 1 But the wind suddenly takes him away.

(The BALLERINAS pick him up and carry him off.)

BALLERINA 2 And she is once again alone.

SUZY Help me I’m alone. I’ve fallen and I’m stuck. I’m close to death or at least misery. Help me, won’t you help me please.

BALLERINA 2 The insects are dead. The sun is dead. The sand is dead. There is no water.

BALLERINA 1 Still in the desert, still fallen, she moans.

(SUZY moans.)

BALLERINA 2 And buzzards pick the clothes from her body.

(The dancers pretending to be buzzards, attack her and try to take her clothes.)

(ALLEGRA rises.)

ALLEGRA I’m better than you in every way. I’m stronger and smarter and much much prettier.

SUZY Help.

ALLEGRA (singing) I am golden. I am sweet. I will make a life complete. I am the perfect girl in every way. I am the perfect girl, in this perfect world on this perfect day.

BOBBY Oh darling.

ALLEGRA Oh darling.

(BOBBY and ALLEGRA kiss.)

SUZY Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

BALLERINA 1 She feels her lashes being brushed. Her hair being touched. Her clothes being taken away.

SUZY I am beautiful

BALLERINA 2 No, you’re not.

BALLERINA 11 Suzy feels breathing very close to her. All around her. All up inside her. But she cannot see anything.

(The DANCERS breathe on her but when she turns they are gone.)

BALLERINA 2 She knows there is something inside her that’s screaming to get out. Sometimes it is very small and sometimes it roars. But it hasn’t got out yet.

SUZY Someone pay attention to me. I am unique. I have big thoughts. Pay attention to me! I deserve it!

(The BALLERINAS pick up SUZY and ALLEGRA and put them to bed.)

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