Saturday, May 06, 2006

scene I had to delete from Pretty Theft

SCENE 30

(On one side of the stage the WAITRESS sits at a table, a couple of empty glasses in front of her. BARTENDER approaches.)

BARTENDER You want another drink, Lily?

WAITRESS I don’t know. BARTENDER Who does this guy think he is? I mean where did he come from?

WAITRESS I don’t know.

BARTENDER He just shows up and, what, you’re having a drink with him? I mean if he does show up. But where the hell is he?

WAITRESS I don’t know.

BARTENDER Are you going to sleep with him?

WAITRESS I’ll have that drink now.

BARTENDER (Moving to make the drink.) Whatever happened to us?

WAITRESS There never was an us.

BARTENDER You know what I mean. I woulda treated you like a princess.

WAITRESS I’m not a princess, Floyd.

BARTENDER You would’ve drank for free.

WAITRESS He’s not coming.

BARTENDER I never would’ve done that. Standing someone up. Specially not you.

WAITRESS I know.

BARTENDER So . . .

WAITRESS No.

BARTENDER No? Not even on a trial basis?

WAITRESS No.

BARTENDER Oh. You want like a hot dog or something? On the house.

WAITRESS Can I use your phone?

(BARTENDER hands her the phone.)

WAITRESS (on phone) Hello, Tom. I think I have an idea where you can find those girls.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's a really, really good scene.

But I applaud you for cutting it.

So often, the best lines, the best scenes, they need to go.

It's a healthy process. There are a number of reasons why the scene should stay in the play, but find out how the play works without it and decide later on if you want to put it back in.

You're making a decision that would only be made by someone who takes his/her craft seriously. So, good.

And thanks for sharing part of your process on your blog.

-anon

Adam said...

thank you anonymous for reading. I realized this scene while I like it, actually confuses the plot. and so I hate to see it go so I put it here so it will still exist in a way.

Heather (a.k.a. Chainsaw) said...

Adam! I love it. I get why you cut it, but the bartender's name is Floyd. I mean, FLOYD, you can't get any better than that! :)

Adam said...

thanks.