more darlings that had to die

a scene from Pretty Theft that is no longer in Pretty Theft (JOE sits in a chair in a straight jacket. Two DOCTORS in white coats circle him. The lights are dreamlike.) DOCTOR 1 I am concerned he’s not getting enough drugs. DOCTOR 2 I have the same concern, doctor. DOCTOR 1 Nurse, see that he gets three hundred and thirty three more cc’s of centa-rama-thol. DOCTOR 2 And twenty seven more cc’s of orga-rata-thol. DOCTOR 1 And eighty-five more cc’s of prozacoril. DOCTOR 2 And give him a bath. DOCTOR 1 Give the poor fucker a thrill. (The DOCTORS laugh.) DOCTOR 2 And don’t scrimp on the soap. DOCTOR 1 And while he’s taking a bath, dose him with fifty five thousand more cc’s of cortapentathol. DOCTOR 2 And ninety thousand more cc’s of gor-vidal-a-cal. DOCTOR 1 I should give Gore Vidal a call. (The DOCTORS laugh.) DOCTOR 2 That joke never gets old. now the old version of another scene SCENE 21 (ALLEGRA and SUZY in the car.) ALLEGRA (To audience.) We go north to go south and we zig zag zig across the continent like headless chickens or weather balloons forced to cling to the ground. We try to be weightless and free but we are tied to the earth, we are tired, and we are quickly running out of cash. SUZY I have to sleep in a bed tonight I don’t care what you say. ALLEGRA How are we gonna buy gas to get back? SUZY I can figure something out. (Pause. SUZY speaks to audience.) SUZY At night, I like to lie in the back of the station wagon and watch the stars come out while Allegra drives. Allegra does not like this. I can feel it in the way she drives. She feels deserted and left out. Because the stars are all mine and the whooshing cars are hers. The headlights blind her and trail across the windshield. The stars lull me to sleep. ALLEGRA Why don’t you sleep in the back again? You seem to like that. SUZY No. I need a bed. I need room service. I need a bathtub. ALLEGRA They’ll want money up front. SUZY Christ! You’re so . . . ALLEGRA What? SUZY Nothing. (Pause. ALLEGRA speaks to the audience.) ALLEGRA During the day, I watch the land change from east land to west land. Hills become plains become canyons become plains become canyons become plains become mountains. In the middle of the US, all the billboards advertise x-rated stores and fireworks and Jesus. In Texas we saw the biggest cross in the Western Hemisphere. The dirt becomes red in Oklahoma. There are forests of windmills followed by miniature oil rigs. There are petrified logs. Tiny lizards. Huge canyons. There are miles and miles of nothing. SUZY (To audience) There is no doubt we are running. The only question is how long can we continue. (To ALLEGRA.) We’re really good friends now, huh? ALLEGRA Yeah. SUZY Like best friends? ALLEGRA Uh huh. SUZY Best friends could stab each other and it’d be OK. We’d forgive each other for things, huh? ALLEGRA You mean like for stealing this car and not telling me? SUZY Yeah. That. And for kissing your boyfriend? ALLEGRA . . . SUZY Now you’re mad. ALLEGRA . . . SUZY I didn’t mean to. It just happened. ALLEGRA . . . SUZY I’m sorry. You deserve better anyway. ALLEGRA No I don’t. SUZY Oh, honey, yes you do. We both do. ALLEGRA I think this trip was a mistake. SUZY No it wasn’t. ALLEGRA Don’t talk to me. Just don’t talk to me. SUZY What did I do? and the new version of the same scene--I prefer the above but because of where it is in the play, the audience can't stand all the inactivity then and I really had to lose a lot of the ambience. ah well. Here is the new version: SCENE 21 (ALLEGRA and SUZY in the car.) SUZY I have to sleep in a bed tonight I don’t care what you say. ALLEGRA Why don’t you sleep in the back of the car again? You seem to like that. SUZY No. I need a bed. I need room service. I need a bathtub. ALLEGRA They’ll want money up front. SUZY So? ALLEGRA How are we gonna buy gas to get back? SUZY Christ! You’re so . . . ALLEGRA What? SUZY Nothing. ALLEGRA I’m sorry. (Pause) SUZY It’s OK. (beat) We’re really good friends now, huh? ALLEGRA Yeah. SUZY Like best friends? ALLEGRA Uh huh. SUZY Best friends could stab each other and it’d be OK. We’d forgive each other for things, huh? ALLEGRA You mean like for stealing this car and not telling me? SUZY Yeah. That. And for kissing your boyfriend? ALLEGRA . . . SUZY Now you’re mad. ALLEGRA . . . SUZY I didn’t mean to. It just happened. ALLEGRA . . . SUZY I’m sorry. You deserve better anyway. ALLEGRA No I don’t. SUZY Oh, honey, yes you do. We both do. ALLEGRA I think this trip was a mistake. SUZY No it wasn’t. ALLEGRA Don’t talk to me. Just don’t talk to me. SUZY What did I do?