Tuesday, October 09, 2007

<3

a new scene. as always, this is a first draft. 5 (In the hospital, the NURSES stand around talking. PETER is visible in a space behind them, working on an artificial heart with a screwdriver.) NURSE 1 Is he in there again? NURSE 2 Yeah. Never eats or sleep, just plays with that damn heart. NURSE 3 Does it work? NURSE 2 Not yet. NURSE 1 If he’s fiddling around with that, he doesn’t have to deal with the world outside or with real problems or with other people. NURSE 2 He’s solving a real problem. You’re not being fair. NURSE 1 I don’t want to be fair to him. He’s never been fair to me. NURSE 3 Can you say that? Can you really say that? NURSE 1 If he’d been fair to me, He would have let me kiss him under the mistletoe at the Christmas party. He would have smiled back more, he would have frowned less. He would have taken the time to notice my body instead of looking away. He’s never been fair to me, so he doesn’t know what could have happened. NURSE 2 He has a higher calling. NURSE 1 He has an escape hatch. I wish I had one. I would have liked to find it in his lips. (The NURSES sigh in unison) NURSE 3 His lips. NURSE 2 His lips. PETER Dammit! Why won’t you beat? Beat! Beat! (PETER fiddles with it some more.) NURSE 1 I’ve seen him in there, you know. With the heart. Shimmying his screwdriver between the chambers. PETER Beat, dammit. Beat. NURSE 1 He wants the heart to beat for him, but a heart will only beat for who a heart beats for. NURSE 3 Isn’t that the truth?

2 comments:

mbh said...

Just a suggestion...

What if you break up the longish dialogue by Nurse One? Broken up so the Nurses dialogue is stacatto, quick... like the opening of "Amadeus."

Reading this, I imagined it being staged with Peter center stage and the Nurses serving as his internal Greek Chorus or his ID/Ego/SuperEgo (or the Three Witches in the Scottish play) of sorts... and what if the the last line (Isn't that the truth) were spoken by all three Nurses?

Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Okay, I'll stop re-writing your play.



Cheers,

Michael

Adam said...

it more like that at the beginning. This is a little later and I'm not sure stacatto would work there. But I'll keep your thoughts in mind when I hear it read out loud.

they are definitely the greek chorus of sorts.