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Oct 20, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 65 - Fun



Fun
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK, JILL, DICK and JANE around a table, drinking.)

DICK
We should do this more.

JACK
I know!

JANE
I'm always saying that.

JILL
I always say that.  I'm like, Jack, When can we have Dick and Jane over again?!

JACK
I know.

DICK
It gets busy.  Time passes.  Not this weekend, next weekend or next weekend.  And then.

JANE
Months pass.

JILL
Years.

JANE
Not years.

JILL
Too much time.

JACK
Too much!

DICK and JANE
Too much!

JACK
To friends!

DICK, JANE, JILL
Friends!

(They clink glasses.)

JACK
It's always fun with you two!

JILL
So fun!

DICK
Yeah.  It's too bad we're getting a divorce.

JILL
What?

DICK
Yeah.

JANE
Sorry.  It's just not fun any more.  For us.  At home.

DICK
We talked about it and I get you in the divorce.

JANE
We've divided up our friends.

JACK, JILL
Oh.

DICK
You're disappointed.

JILL
It's just that we always liked Jane.

JACK
Yeah.  She's our favorite.

DICK
But I got you in the divorce.

JACK
Yeah.  Totally.  I know.  It's just.

JILL
We like her better.

JACK
A lot better.

DICK
But we did all those man things together, watching sports and talking about tires and blue jeans and butts.

JACK
I know and I liked that.  I just feel like Jane gets me.

JILL
She gets me too.

DICK
Oh.

JACK
Maybe you could just not get divorced.

JANE
Oh, we're getting divorced.

DICK
Sure are.

JILL
Can't we still be friends with you both?

DICK
That's not going to work.

JACK
Won't it?

JANE
No.  Sorry.  We hate each other so much.

DICK
So much.

JANE
So much.

JILL
Well, you hide it really well.

JACK
To hiding it well!

(JACK and JILL raise their glasses.  The other two look at them.)

DICK
I'm going to go.

JACK
No, don't go.

DICK
I have a headache.  I have work in the morning.  I'm just really uncomfortable and depressed.

JILL
Well, okay.  Seeya next time.

JACK
We'll do it again soon.

JILL
Soon.

JACK
Soon.

(Exit DICK.)

JILL
So we can see you in secret, right?

JANE
We'll figure something out.  I guess I get you in the divorce after all.

JACK
To winning.

JANE, JILL
Winning.

(They toast.  They drink.  They get sad.)

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