Adam Szymkowicz

Feb 8, 2007

next week--free--tell me now if you wish to go

Incendiary at Juilliard directed by Kip Fagan.

Wednesday, February 14th @1:30pm

Thursday, February 15th @ 7:00pm

Friday, February 16th @ 7:00pm

Saturday, February 17th @ 2:00pm

Sunday, February 18th @ 7:00pm

Incendiary is the comic tale of a combustible group of
people. Elise is a pyromaniac fire chief. Jake is the
police detective investigating her fires. Carrie is a
therapist who's trying to get a client to quit some
truly destructive behavior, and Gary is leading the
life of a somewhat ineffective corporate spy. As the
smoke begins to billow and the sparks begin to fly,
they're all about to find out that love is the most
incendiary thing.

Feb 7, 2007

beginning of my ten minute (?) one-person play, Entrepreneur

(TOM is sitting on a ratty recliner in his apartment.
He rises as he sees us.)

TOM
Hey, hi there. Come on in. Yeah. Hi. I'm Tom.
Does anyone want any cheese or anything? I got some
cheese. American cheese? You want some? There might
be some Triscuits too but I'm not sure how long they
been in there so… you might be taking a chance going
with those. Yeah, take off your coats. Right. So.
So, um I'm here to talk to you about how to pick up
chicks. Normally my friend Phil teaches this seminar
but he got some job doing some kind of consulting. He
can't talk about it but he asked me to fill in today.
Because, um, I'm currently unemployed. I had a job
though until recently . . . My former boss-- when I
used to say to someone, "yeah I work at the Electronic
Superstore" he would be like "No, don't say you work.
You are employed by the Electronic Superstore." He
was kind of an asshole.

Oh, um so maybe now would be a good time for you to
give me the money for the session. Yeah a check is
ok. Thomas Hond. H-O-N-D. Cool. Yeah just right,
leave it on the table there. Cool. Is everyone here?
Cool. So like I was saying: how to pick up chicks.
First of all are any of you rich? Let's say you're
rich, you should go out and buy real nice clothes and
have a real nice car and you should just carry around
a lot of money. Let's say you see a hot girl. You
just flash the wad. Like this. You just flash it and
you go "look. Hey look." And she sees your wad and
she will go for you then. Or if you want to be slick
you go "hey so you want me to buy you a beer or
something" and then when you go to pay for the drink
you take out a huge wad and she sees the wad and she
thinks yeah that's the kind of guy I want to go home
with tonight.

I tell you, if I was rich, I bet Cindy wouldn't have
left me. She was like "you got fired again?" and she
was out the door. Just out the door and I was like
"hold on" and she was like "you can't keep a job. I
can't be with a man who can't keep a job" and I was
like "fuck you bitch." And she was like "what did you
say to me?" Oh, so step two if you want to pick up a
girl, do not say "fuck you, bitch." Wait until she
sleeps with your best friend Phil and then dumps you
because you got-- because you are no longer employed.
Then you can say it, but don't expect her to stick
around or anything.

(From out in the yard we hear the sound of a dog
barking loudly. TOM shouts at the barking.)

Shut up! Shut up. Seriously. Shut up!

Feb 6, 2007

oh, soup, little play of mine

I received a request from a student at a university in
England today who wants to direct my play, Soup. This
is not the first time it's happened. I still don't
understand.

http://aszym.blogspot.com/2005/08/so-i-have-this-short-play-soup-i-wrote.html

Feb 5, 2007

buy stuff, make dramaturgs smile

LMDA will hold second annual
ebay auction 2-9 March 2007 to benefit
early career dramaturgs

The Literary Managers and Dramaturgs of the Americas
(LMDA) is pleased to announce their second annual eBay
Auction. The auction will be held from 2-9 March 2007.
The items for bid are being compiled but already
include tickets to some of the nation's premiere
theatres, a selection of appetizing books, rare
scripts and autographed magazines. The funds generated
by this year's auction will support travel expenses
for Early Career Dramaturgs to attend LMDA's annual
conference. This year's conference will be held in
Toronto's historic Distillery District from 21-24 June
2007.

The 2006 eBay Auction raised over $1500 and helped pay
travel expenses for three Early Career Dramaturgs
(ECDs) to attend the 2006 LMDA conference in
Minneapolis, where they had opportunities to meet and
share ideas with literary managers and dramaturgs from
all over the world. The annual conference is regarded
by many to be the best place to form important
connections in the fields of literary management and
dramaturgy.

Julie Felise Dubiner, literary manager at Actor's
Theatre of Louisville, is spearheading the efforts of
this year's auction. Dubiner is both a member of
LMDA's Board of Directors and the point person for
LMDA's Early Career Dramaturgs group. Dubiner has an
active and able committee of ECDs working with her on
this year's auction: Laura Butchy, Jason Fitzgerald,
Jana Goold, Lauren Ignaut, and Sarah Slight.

Last year, the auction offered such one-of-a-kind
items as a guided tour around scenic Puget Sound,
Washington; two tickets to Chicago's Steppenwolf
Theatre and a Leather Steppenwolf Letter Jacket; a
backstage tour and tickets to The Lord of the Rings;
limited edition prints by the renowned
director/designer Robert Wilson; and a shirt signed by
the cast of television's ER. This year's auction will
feature an even wider selection for bidders to
consider. Check out
http://www.missionfish.org/NPMMF/nphomepage.jsp?NP_ID=10372
starting March 2 to see the exciting array of items up
for bid!

For more information about the eBay Auction or any
item mentioned in this release, contact Shelley Orr,
co-Vice President of External Communications for LMDA:
orr@email.arizona.edu.

For more information about The Literary Managers and
Dramaturgs of the Americas, visit our website at
http://www.lmda.org/ or contact our administrative
office: lmdanyc@hotmail.com.

first draft of a new scene

FOUR

(MIRANDA and JOHN enter the office area shouting at
one another.)

JOHN
You know what you are? You're a spoiled brat!

MIRANDA
Why don't you fire me then, huh? Go ahead and fire
me, big shot!

JOHN
You're so incredibly young.

MIRANDA
You're old!

JOHN
Immature.

MIRANDA
Overly mature!

JOHN
It's sad.

MIRANDA
It is! You pathetic cloying man! Clawing your way to
middle management! Reeking of Old Spice and
Listerine! Ironing your handkerchiefs alone every
night!

JOHN
I use Kleenex!

MIRANDA
Ironing your Kleenex.

JOHN
One of these days, Miranda—

MIRANDA
John.

JOHN
One of these days you won't be able to extricate
yourself from one of your situations. You'll create a
mess you can't get out of and then what will you do if
someone like me isn't here to help you out of your
mess.

MIRANDA
There is always someone like you around. You're one
of the many expendable barely competent people who
populate our world. And I don't mean that as a
compliment!

JOHN
You bitch!

MIRANDA
What's that?

JOHN
You ungrateful bitch! I should fire you.

MIRANDA
Go ahead.

JOHN
I should!

MIRANDA
Do it!

JOHN
Don't tell me what to do!

(BRIAN has arrived.)

BRIAN
Good morning.

JOHN
Hi.

MIRANDA
Good morning, Brian.

JOHN
I'll be in my office. We'll talk about this later.