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FIFTEEN
(BRIAN is dressing in all black in his apartment.
TODD watches)
TODD
Brian. Brian. Brian. Brian. Brian. Can you hear
me? Brian. Brian. Brian. Brian.
BRIAN
Todd.
TODD
Oh, good.
BRIAN
What do you want?
TODD
Nothing. (Pause) Brian? Brian. Brian. Brian.
Brian.
BRIAN
What?
TODD
You told her about me didn't you?
BRIAN
Umm…
TODD
Didn't you?
BRIAN
Yes.
TODD
Well, did it get you laid?
BRIAN
No, Todd it's not like that.
TODD
What a waste.
BRIAN
I guess so. I didn't really think about it. She's
been having a lot of inappropriate sex. I don't want
to contribute to that or anything.
TODD
Oh. OK. Is sex with you automatically inappropriate
or do you do something particularly inappropriate like
during it.
BRIAN
Umm . . . neither . . . I just . . . what do you want?
TODD
Where are you going?
BRIAN
I have to go to work.
TODD
It's nighttime.
BRIAN
I need to help Miranda stop capitalism.
(He puts a ski mask on and then lifts it back up so
his face can be seen.)
TODD
Oh. Oh, well then. That explains it I guess. Oh,
OK. Well, good luck with that. I'll stay here if
that's OK.
BRIAN
That's fine.
TODD
Good.
(TODD stares at BRIAN.)
BRIAN
What?
TODD
She made you crazy.
BRIAN
No, she didn't.
TODD
That's what women do.
BRIAN
That's just not true.
TODD
Just tell me this. Should I be worried?
BRIAN
Should you be—
TODD
Should I be worried?
BRIAN
Look at me. You need to let me go.
TODD
What?
BRIAN
Release me. Release me.
(They stare at each other. BRIAN pulls down the
facemask and exits.)
Act 1, Scene 1
(SEGISMUNDO in a spotlight wears heavy chains that
restrict his movement. He is shackled, weighed down,
and sad.)
SEGISMUNDO
Misery! Woe am I! Woe! I have seen from the jail
window the calm water, the laughing children, the
flowers in bloom, birds of many colors—I don't know
their names—if they see me with a book, they take it
away before I can learn the difference between a
sparrow and a hawk. They don't want me to know things
in case . . . in case I might do something. You don't
know what I could do. Misery! All I know is misery.
Woe. Woe. Woe-Woe. The day I was born they knew to
put me in shackles. Before they washed me off even,
I was in irons. Cleanliness don't come before public
safety. I'm a menace, you see. Look real close.
Can't you see I'm a menace? They could see it in my
eyes. They could hear it when they pressed their ears
up to the womb. They learned something then I guess.
Don't get too close. I'm not safe. I'm evil. They
tell me I'm evil.
(ROSAURA rides in on CLARIN's back, a riding crop in
one hand and reins in the other. She is dressed as a
man. CLARIN wears a clown nose and, besides ROSAURA,
carries two heavy suitcases. They do not see
SEGISMUNDO.)
ROSAURA
Whoa! Whoa! Hold up there, horsey!
CLARIN
I'm not a horse. I'm Clarin.
ROSAURA
I'll say you're not a horse. A horse is quick and
intelligent and brave and strong.
CLARIN
Right. I'm none of them things. I can't even neigh
proper.
ROSAURA
You should have thought of that before you shot our
horses.
CLARIN
They were moving too slow.
ROSAURA
They're moving much slower now.
CLARIN
I hate Poland. Remind me again why we came to Poland.
ROSAURA
I have business.
CLARIN
Right, what does that mean? And why are you dressed
like a man?
ROSAURA
It's better to dress like a man.
CLARIN
Yeah but no one will believe you.
ROSAURA
Everyone will believe me.
CLARIN
No one will believe you.
ROSAURA
Clarin!
CLARIN
I mean you're not very manly.
ROSAURA
Is it because I'm so beautiful?
CLARIN
No, that's not it.
ROSAURA
You don't think I'm beautiful?
CLARIN
Are you propositioning the help?
ROSAURA
Clarin!
CLARIN
Because I heard rumors, sure, but I never thought--
ROSAURA
Let's look for a place to stay.
CLARIN
I guess I could sleep here and you could sleep over
there. Or I could sleep over there and you here. Or
I guess if you wanted me to sleep with you I guess I
could make an exception because it's only you and me
here alone and I'm lonely and you're lonely and I'm a
man and you're a woman and your hair looks quite nice
in this light if I squint, like this.
(The rustling of chains.)
ROSAURA
Shh! What's that?
CLARIN
I don't know. Don't let it ruin the mood.
ROSAURA
Is this a building?
SEGISMUNDO
Woe! Woe is me! Misery! Sadness! Oh-Woe!
ROSAURA
Did you hear that?
CLARIN
No. Take off your pants.
(ROSAURA enters the building and CLARIN follows,
undoing his belt. They stop when they see
SEGISMUNDO.)
SEGISMUNDO
Why was I built like this? Why? I was born this way,
don't you see? My heart they say is the largest heart
ever found in a person's chest. When it beats, it
shakes the walls. They are terrified of it, which is
why I'm here. Or it is my eyes. My eyes they say are
more destructive than any hammer ever made. Birds
fall from the sky if they chance to look at me
head-on. Or my voice. The wild beasts I the
forest, in the ground, in the ocean all tremble when
they hear the sound that can come from the back of my
throat. Or it was these fingers.
ROSAURA
Fingers.
SEGISMUNDO
Or this skin.
ROSAURA
Skin.
SEGISMUNDO
Or this tongue.
ROSAURA
Oh!
SEGISMUNDO
What was that?!
ROSAURA
He's so beautiful.
CLARIN
He's OK.
SEGISMUNDO
What's that? Who's that? A spy? Who sent you? Have
you come here to beat me?
ROSAURA
(stepping forward)
No.
(SEGISMUNDO grabs her in his large arms.)
SEGISMUNDO
I can't let you live.
ROSAURA
No!
CLARIN
Let her live!
SEGISMUNDO
What, another one?
CLARIN
No.
ROSAURA
Please, sir.
SEGISMUNDO
You shouldn't have heard me.
ROSAURA
But, your voice. It made me feel—
(Romantic music begins to play. ROSAURA touches his
face.)
SEGISMUNDO
I've never been touched like this.
ROSAURA
Your skin is so rough.
SEGISMUNDO
I've never felt like this.
ROSAURA
Your body is so warm.
SEGISMUNDO
I don't understand what's happening.
ROSAURA
Your eyes are so strong.
SEGISMUNDO
I feel a rising in my chest, a swelling of my throat.
It's like the first moment of something unexpected.
ROSAURA
I feel it too.
SEGISMUNDO
It's like something I can't explain.
ROSAURA
I can't explain it either.
SEGISMUNDO
Stay here with me.
CLOTALDO
(Offstage)
Intruders! Intruders!
(The music stops)
CLARIN
Oh, shit!
ROSAURA
What's going on?
SEGISMUNDO
You're not supposed to be here. No one is supposed to
see me.
ROSAURA
Not ever?
SEGISMUNDO
They will kill you.
CLARIN
They will what?!!
(CLOTALDO enters shouting followed by armed GUARDS.)
CLOTALDO
Intruders! Seize them
http://playwrightjoshuajames.com/dailydojo/?p=225
(In the desert, JONES and SARAH)
JONES
I've been wanting to talk to you?
SARAH
Oh?
JONES
Yeah.
SARAH
What about?
JONES
I've seen you looking at me.
SARAH
What do you mean?
JONES
You know what I mean.
SARAH
What do you mean?
JONES
It's OK. You don't have to pretend. I know how you
feel and I dig it.
SARAH
You dig it?
JONES
Yeah, because I have a soft spot for you. This kind
of thing happens to me over and over in my life.
People fall in love with me. I'm used to it. It's
become a bit of a theme for me. Although it never has
worked out. Sometimes it will work out for a while
but in the end, it never works out because when it
comes down to it, I never feel the same way about them
as they feel about me. Which is how this is different
though. Because I have strong feelings for you.
SARAH
You do?
JONES
I want you to know however strongly you feel about me,
I feel just as strongly about you, or almost as
strongly in any case. It's the way you laugh… more
than anything it's that. The way you laugh, I feel
that all inside me. And I just know. I'm not really
sure why. It's the volume of your laugh maybe or the
snide thing you say before it that adds to it. The
way your face crinkles up. I'm not sure what exactly
but it grabs me by the throat and squeezes everything
out of me. You could kill with that laugh.
SARAH
Thanks.
JONES
Yeah, so I just though you should know. You don't
have to hide the way you feel. Because I feel that
way too and maybe from now on we could find more ways
to spend time together alone like this getting to know
each other better.
SARAH
Yeah, see . . .
JONES
You don't have to say anything. I can see it in your
eyes.
SARAH
I think I should say something though.
JONES
You don't have to though. Don't say a word. Just
close your eyes.
SARAH
Um.
(JONES kisses SARAH)
SARAH
Oh.
JONES
You can do better than that. Let's try that again.
(JONES leans in and SARAH pushes him away.)
SARAH
I don't think so.
JONES
What? Too much tongue?
SARAH
No. Yes. The thing is that I don't really feel that
way about you.
JONES
You don't have to pretend.
SARAH
I'm not pretending. It's just that you're not really
like the kind of guy I usually date.
JONES
Well I am one of a kind.
SARAH
That's not what I mean.
JONES
You aren't serious that you're not into me.
SARAH
There's someone else I have feelings for.
JONES
What, like back home? Because back home is far far
away.
SARAH
Here.
JONES
But I'm the only man around any woman could seriously
consider.
SARAH
Except Hank.
JONES
Yeah but . . .
SARAH
And I'm sorry it won't work out for us but I have to
say I am impressed with your confidence. It's
inspiring. In fact, I think I should follow your
example.
JONES
Yeah but—
SARAH
I've waited long enough. I need to tell him how I
feel. Don't you think?
JONES
Yeah, but he's gay.
SARAH
No, he's not. Hank?
JONES
Oh, come on, you seriously don't know that he's gay?
SARAH
But gays aren't allowed in the military.
JONES
Sarah, seriously. You don't know that he's gay?
SARAH
I know the way he looks at me.
JONES
I know the way he looks at me.
SARAH
You're wrong.
JONES
OK.
SARAH
You just see. He's going to marry me and then you'll
see.
JONES
Oh, like that will prove it.
SARAH
You'll see. I will tell him how I feel about him and
then he and I . . .
JONES
Listen, the only way either of us is going to have any
sex is if we're fucking each other.
SARAH
I'm going to go find Hank.
JONES
If you're honest with yourself, really honest, I think
you'll find that you're really into me.
SARAH
I don't feel that way about you.
JONES
Really?
SARAH
I just don't.
JONES
I think you do.
SARAH
(Exiting)
No.
JONES
(Following her out)
Oh, come on. Really? Well, we can still have sex.
Hey, Sarah, we can still have sex! Come on!