Featured Post
1100 Playwright Interviews
1100 Playwright Interviews A Sean Abley Rob Ackerman E.E. Adams Johnna Adams Liz Duffy Adams Tony Adams David Adjmi Keith Josef Adkins Nicc...
Dec 19, 2006
A Christmas Play
The Global Warming Christmas Pageant
(Christmas lights fill the stage. Perhaps there are large candy canes and snow. Enter the SNOWMAN NARRATOR)
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
Let me tell you the story of the Christmas which almost never was.
(Enter SANTA in an easy chair, surrounded by elves.)
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
For fifty years the elves had been saying
ELVES
Santa, we’ve got to do something about all the toy factory smoke.
(Lights up on toy smokestacks in the distance turning out fat plumes of smoke)
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
And Santa would reply.
SANTA
Nonsense!
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
Or
SANTA
Yeah Yeah yeah.
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
Or
SANTA
If I hear one more word about it, I’m revoking all the Christmas bonuses.
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
The elves were despondent.
ELVES
We are despondent.
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
They knew any good they did by making toys for children was canceled out by the bad bad smokestacks which were making greenhouse gases that would forever alter the climate of the Earth.
ELVES
That makes us sad.
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
But more immediately, they knew that the North Pole was in some serious trouble. They tried again to reason with Santa.
ELF 1
The ice in the North Pole is disappearing. We need to do something about our emissions.
SANTA
(smoking)
Nonsense. A little smoke never hurt anyone.
ELF 2
But the scientists say--
SANTA
I don’t believe in science. I believe in magic.
ELF 3
So maybe you could use some magic to prevent global climate change.
SANTA
I have toy making magic. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now please go. I want to test out the new Wii.
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
The day came when the elves had to leave the North Pole.
(ELVES pack up suitcases.)
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
There was no longer enough ice to walk on. It all cracked and melted.
(The candy canes fall over. The snow melts.)
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
The polar bears were drowning. The elves built big boats and decided to emigrate to Canada in droves. I have to go too. I’m going to die here. I’m melting. It’s so warm. It’s so warm.
(The SNOWMAN sits down and tries to get cold.)
ELVES
Santa, we’re going to go now. We built boats. Are you coming.
SANTA
No, I’m going to stay here.
ELVES
But there will be no more North Pole. Your house will fall into the ocean. There will be nowhere to stand.
SANTA
I’ll be fine.
ELF 4
Your wife left a long time ago.
SANTA
I know she left!
LITTLEST ELF
Santa, have you been drinking?
SANTA
What of it? Leave an old man in peace.
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
And so the elves left to start their lives over and Santa sat and cried and sat and cried.
(SANTA cries loudly)
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
And then the day came when his house sank into the ocean.
(SANTA falls off his chair. The SNOWMAN is lying down too.)
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
I’m having trouble breathing. I’m melting, children.
SANTA
I can’t swim. The water is so cold.
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
It’s so warm.
SANTA
It’s so cold.
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
Not cold enough. At this point Santa began to drown.
(SANTA begins to drown.)
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
But wait, stop because there is something you can do.
SANTA
Clap your hands together and say I do believe in Santa Claus. I do believe in Santa Claus.
(The ELVES come out.)
SNOWMAN NARRATOR, ELVES, SANTA
(Clapping)
I do believe in Santa Claus. I do believe in Santa Claus.
SANTA
Christmas is saved! Hurrah!
SNOWMAN NARRATOR
OK, well, maybe this year it's ok. But that’s just a band aid. I’m still melting an’ everything. Now go home and turn off the lights after you leave the room and don’t use so much water and tell your parents to use low energy light bulbs and that they should stop driving such big cars and perhaps, perhaps Santa won’t die of asphyxiation after all of his elves leave him to live in Canada. Good night, and Merry Christmas.
http://www.climatecrisis.net/takeaction/
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment