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1000 Playwright Interviews The first interview I posted was on June 3, 2009.  It was Jimmy Comtois.  I decided I would start interview...

Feb 4, 2009


Okay, so Food For Fish at Northwestern later this week. Hearts Like Fists the week after at Juilliard. Some new short plays at Bryant Lake Bowl when I return to MN and then in April, back in nyc, Pretty Theft. So here are some scenes to get you in the mood. A scene I cut from Pretty Theft. The beginning of Food For Fish. And a scene you have not seen from Hearts Like Fists: (DOCTOR X exits. The CRIMEFIGHTERS and LISA arrive at the slain couple. It is a crime scene now. They all put on rubber gloves as they enter. The dummies of the previous scene are replaced by CARSON and ED.) SALLY Welcome to your first crime scene. LISA It’s – not like I thought. SALLY It never is. JAZMIN Doctor X entered through the window as is his custom. He stood here. NINA I’m standing where Doctor X stood. I’m breathing the same air. It feels—I don’t know. I feel alive. JAZMIN The doctor is efficient. I’ll say that. Comes in. Kills ‘em. Goes out. NINA It makes me shiver. SALLY Any clues? JAZMIN Nothing. LISA (standing over the dead couple) Look at his eyelashes. He reminds me of— JAZMIN Who? LISA No one. Never mind. I shouldn’t think of it anyway. NINA You can’t help what you think. LISA Can’t I? SALLY Get some carpet samples. NINA I’ll take samples of where I’m standing. JAZMIN I have a sink full of dishes at home. Why do I always think of that at a crime scene? SALLY I always think of the Commissioner. NINA I think of nothing but Doctor X. LISA They were very much in love. (The CRIMEFIGHTERS gather around the dead bodies.) SALLY They were? JAZMIN Were they? LISA The way they’re holding each other. NINA I don’t see it. LISA Look how close they were. Breathing on each other until they stopped. Oh, yeah, there is no doubt. They were very much in love. (A flashback: The couple, ED and CARSON, come alive. CARSON in bed. ED moving around.) CARSON Come to bed. ED I’m coming. CARSON Did you lock the window? ED Yesss. I always lock the window. CARSON Did you lock the window tonight? ED I said I locked the window. CARSON Ok. Ok. Don’t get bent out of shape. ED I’m not. CARSON Are you sure I’m the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? ED I’m sure. CARSON Are you sure you’re sure? ED Yes. CARSON I’m sure too. ED Let’s go to sleep. CARSON Ok. Hold me. (They hold one another.) CARSON Our life is good. ED I think so. CARSON Me too. ED You were really good at Trivial Pursuit tonight. (But CARSON is asleep. ED closes his eyes. Light shift. They are dead again. The CRIMEFIGHTERS and LISA sigh.) LISA It makes you think. SALLY and JAZMIN Yeah. LISA Oh, well. NINA What’s wrong with me? I don’t feel anything. SALLY Why did I ever break it off with the Commissioner? NINA I think I don’t feel anything. LISA I think I’m going to cry. JAZMIN I’m going to be late to my date. But I ran out of fabric softener. Should I go get the fabric softener and be a little later and then carry it around on the date? Or should I just go without it and have clothes that aren’t as soft? LISA I can’t stand this. NINA Does Doctor X hate love? I think I hate love too. Do I? Is that possible? I am just like the Doctor, deep down or even on the surface too? I look at them and I don’t care. I am empty. LISA I—I— SALLY I think I’m going to call the Commissioner and say we should give it another shot. LISA I got to go. JAZMIN Are you going? LISA I got to go. I can’t wait another second. I’m sorry. (The CRIMEFIGHTERS watch her go.) SALLY We have to go to work. JAZMIN Where are the body bags? I can’t look at these anymore.

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