a scene i had to delete from incendiary

i like this scene. i'm sorry to have to lose it. Scene 25 (TOMMY, JIMMY, GARY and CARRIE in CARRIE’s burnt office. JIMMY is flipping through a phone book.) CARRIE My rug. TOMMY And you sure she went to this boyfriend’s house. CARRIE I’m not sure but where else would she go? JIMMY Statberg? CARRIE No. It was Jake Statsomething. JIMMY Stathouse? CARRIE No. TOMMY Keep looking. CARRIE I loved that rug. I can’t believe she burned that rug. You remember when I got that rug, Gary? Gary? GARY So we’re cool now, right? TOMMY I don’t know what you mean. Do you know what he means? JIMMY I haven’t the foggiest. GARY So you can leave me alone now and go after her. TOMMY Well, how do we know she set the other building on fire? JIMMY That’s true. We don’t know that. CARRIE She did set it on fire. GARY When you catch her, I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it. JIMMY Yeah but . . . GARY What? TOMMY See the thing is, you can’t really believe what people tell you under torture. GARY Then why do you do it? JIMMY It’s our nature. Statler? CARRIE No. GARY So what? I have to go with you? CARRIE Yeah, yeah, let’s go with them. GARY Darling. CARRIE What? GARY You’re not helping. TOMMY You still owe Liz some spy stuff, right? I think you better come along with us at least until we get a hold of this dame. GARY But he’s a cop. Why am I following you to some cop’s house? JIMMY He’s a cop? CARRIE Yeah. Detective Jake Stasomething. TOMMY We’re going to some detective’s house? JIMMY What, all of a sudden you are afraid of the law? TOMMY I just want to get it clear. We’re going to go in there and get some broad from some cop? GARY You can’t handle that? TOMMY I can handle don’t ask me what I can handle. CARRIE Do you think I’m a bad therapist? I mean she’s right, I didn’t help her stop setting fires. But sometimes it made her so happy I didn’t even want to help her. Helping her would hurt her. You should have seen the look on her face when she talked about it. It was like when we were first married, Gary how you used to look at me. Why don’t you look at me like that anymore? Was it something I did or something I said or did you just grow sick of me or is it something else? You know, we go to school get our license and everything but really it’s all instinct and my instinct was telling me to let her set fires throughout the city. Am I a bad person? Is that why you don’t look at me like that anymore? JIMMY Hey, now, I bet you’re a really good therapist. TOMMY Jimmy Splinters is right. I already feel better just being in this room. Although I do think you should get a new rug. JIMMY I know a guy. CARRIE But do you feel your antisocial impulses confirmed? TOMMY I’m very social. CARRIE Or are you going to give it all up because you realize it’s wrong and harmful to society. JIMMY What we do is not harmful to society. We are like checks and balances. Some guy gets out of line, he’s got to be put into check. GARY How noble. TOMMY Don’t get smart. JIMMY Wait, is it Jake Stratford? CARRIE Yeah. I think so. JIMMY Tommy, you remember Detective Stratford? TOMMY No . . . oh, yeah. (sincerely) A shame about his wife. JIMMY That was a shame. Here it is. Twenty Sixth street. TOMMY Let’s go. Scene 26

manifesto for a theatregoer

The kind of theatre I want to see, the theatre I most enjoy, the theatre I am willing to pay money to see, the theatre I give the benefit of the doubt to even if it’s not all working completely is like this: I like plays where I know the playwright is reaching towards something or struggling with something. I like the playwright who says I am troubled by this and think it should be on the stage. I like it when a play is written about something important to the playwright. I like plays that experiment with language or form. I like visually beautiful and theatrical plays. I like plays in which actors use movement, voice, rhythm in unusual ways. I like funny plays. I like smart plays. I like plays that make me think. I like plays with a lot of heart about people trying to connect with other people. I like plays with tight construction that keep you on the edge of your seat. I like plays that are about something, not plays that pretend to be about something. I like plays that are constantly surprising. I don’t like plays where I don’t learn anything. I don’t like plays where horrible things after horrible things happen to characters and there is no hope. I especially don’t like it when characters do evil things without any real reason. I don’t like it when a play is produced and there are clear problems of consistency or flabby writing that could have been fixed but weren’t. I like plays directed by geniuses. I like plays with quirky characters. I like plays that star actors that are too interesting for Hollywood. Sometimes I like musicals. I like plays that are fun. I don’t like plays about celebrities. Or that star celebrities, especially if that is all the play has going for it. I like witty plays. And clever plays. I like plays that make me think of bright colors. I like ninety minute plays and sixty minute plays. I like plays about love.