11
(DR. X exits. The CRIMEFIGHTERS and LISA arrive at the slain couple. It is a crime scene now. They all put on rubber gloves as they enter. The dummies of the previous scene are replaced by CARSON and ED.)
SALLY
Welcome to your first crime scene.
LISA
It’s – not like I thought.
SALLY
It never is.
JAZMIN
Dr. X entered through the window as is his custom. He stood here.
NINA
I’m standing where Dr. X stood. I’m breathing the same air. It feels—I don’t know. I feel alive.
JAZMIN
The doctor is efficient. I’ll say that. Comes in. Kills ‘em. Goes out.
NINA
It makes me shiver.
SALLY
Any clues?
JAZMIN
Nothing.
LISA
(standing over the dead couple
Look at his eyelashes. He reminds me of—
JAZMIN
Who?
LISA
No one. Never mind. I shouldn’t think of it anyway.
NINA
You can’t help what you think.
LISA
Can’t I?
SALLY
Get some carpet samples.
NINA
I’ll take samples of where I’m standing.
JAZMIN
I have a sink full of dishes at home. Why do I always think of that at a crime scene?
SALLY
I always think of the Commissioner.
NINA
I think of nothing but Dr. X.
LISA
They were very much in love.
(The CRIMEFIGHTERS gather around the dead bodies.)
SALLY
They were?
JAZMIN
Were they?
LISA
The way they’re holding each other.
NINA
I don’t see it.
LISA
Look how close they were. Breathing on each other until they stopped. Oh, yeah, there is no doubt. They were very much in love.
(A flashback: The couple, ED and CARSON, come alive. CARSON in bed. ED moving around.)
CARSON
Come to bed.
ED
I’m coming.
CARSON
Did you lock the window?
ED
Yesss. I always lock the window.
CARSON
Did you lock the window tonight?
ED
I said I locked the window.
CARSON
Ok. Ok. Don’t get bent out of shape.
ED
I’m not.
CARSON
Are you sure I’m the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?
ED
I’m sure.
CARSON
Are you sure you’re sure?
ED
Yes.
CARSON
I’m sure too.
ED
Let’s go to sleep.
CARSON
Ok. Hold me.
(They hold one another.)
CARSON
Our life is good.
ED
I think so.
CARSON
Me too.
ED
You were really good at Trivial Pursuit tonight.
(But CARSON is asleep. ED closes his eyes. Light shift. They are dead again. The CRIMEFIGHTERS and LISA sigh.)
LISA
It makes you think.
SALLY and JAZMIN
Yeah.
LISA
Oh, well.
NINA
What’s wrong with me? I don’t feel anything.
SALLY
Why did I ever break it off with the Commissioner?
NINA
I think I don’t feel anything.
LISA
I think I’m going to cry.
JAZMIN
I’m going to be late to my date. But I ran out of fabric softener. Should I go get the fabric softener and be a little later and then carry it around on the date? Or should I just go without it and have clothes that aren’t as soft?
LISA
I can’t stand this.
NINA
Does Dr. X hate love? I think I hate love to. Do I? Is that possible? I am just like the Doctor, deep down or even on the surface too? I look at them and I don’t care. I am empty.
SALLY
I think I’m going to call the Commissioner and say we should give it another shot.
LISA
I got to go.
JAZMIN
Are you going?
LISA
I got to go. I can’t wait another second. I’m sorry. I have to go.
(The CRIMEFIGHTERS watch her go.)
JAZMIN
Where are the body bags? I can’t look at these anymore.
