Adam Szymkowicz

Yesterday I got a package in the mail. My friend from
college, Stephanie, mailed me a letter I had sent her
the summer of '97. It was fascinating to read. I was
a different person 10 years ago. In it, I write about
going down to Salmon River and how much I love nature
and how I could never live in a city. hmmm.

I also say in the letter I'm going to try and write a
play that summer (while holding down a full time job).
Now I don't remember exactly if this was my first or
third attempt at a play. It might be my first, and if
so it was a terrible beckett-inspired symbolist play.
There were some funny lines and a lot of philosophy
and deep meaning I'm not sure I could explain now. In
other words, I'm not sure it meant what I wanted it to
mean.

The reason I bring this up, I guess, is that ten years
ago I took off down the path to be a playwright which
meant 4 years later moving to New York to work very
hard writing plays and doing all the things not
related to writing plays that playwrights have to do.
In the process, I managed to accumulate about 90
thousand dollars of debt going to grad school.

And now I'm here going to a different grad school for
free. The playwriting is going better than ever. And
I'm feeling worse about it than I ever have before.
Oddly discouraged. All the small things going well
seem much too small.

The productions, the readings, the good reviews, the
writing groups, all things I'm happy about. But I
feel like I could stay here at this level working my
ass off for the rest of my life not getting any closer
to whatever it is I'm looking for.

(What is it I'm looking for? A way to transcend life
and show it at the same time? A way to immortality?
A version of beauty? A lasting understanding? A way
to escape? A rippling truth? Does this have anything
to do with the plays I'm writing or am I kidding
myself?)

I want to go back 10 years ago and tell my young self
not to write that first play. I want to tell him to
spend more time swimming in the river. I want to tell
him to get a job working for one of the many insurance
companies so he can buy a house in town--one with a
big lawn and some woods in the back yard.

And yet I know, that was not the life I wanted. I
chose this. I want this, this life in the theatre.
Don't I?

-----

P.S. Please don't misunderstand. I'm just voicing
something that I think needs to be said. Don't start
worrying about me or anything. Also don't think for a
second I'm going to stop writing. Hell, I can't even
slow down.

Mar 12, 2007

more darlings that had to die

a scene from Pretty Theft that is no longer in Pretty Theft (JOE sits in a chair in a straight jacket. Two DOCTORS in white coats circle him. The lights are dreamlike.) DOCTOR 1 I am concerned he’s not getting enough drugs. DOCTOR 2 I have the same concern, doctor. DOCTOR 1 Nurse, see that he gets three hundred and thirty three more cc’s of centa-rama-thol. DOCTOR 2 And twenty seven more cc’s of orga-rata-thol. DOCTOR 1 And eighty-five more cc’s of prozacoril. DOCTOR 2 And give him a bath. DOCTOR 1 Give the poor fucker a thrill. (The DOCTORS laugh.) DOCTOR 2 And don’t scrimp on the soap. DOCTOR 1 And while he’s taking a bath, dose him with fifty five thousand more cc’s of cortapentathol. DOCTOR 2 And ninety thousand more cc’s of gor-vidal-a-cal. DOCTOR 1 I should give Gore Vidal a call. (The DOCTORS laugh.) DOCTOR 2 That joke never gets old. now the old version of another scene SCENE 21 (ALLEGRA and SUZY in the car.) ALLEGRA (To audience.) We go north to go south and we zig zag zig across the continent like headless chickens or weather balloons forced to cling to the ground. We try to be weightless and free but we are tied to the earth, we are tired, and we are quickly running out of cash. SUZY I have to sleep in a bed tonight I don’t care what you say. ALLEGRA How are we gonna buy gas to get back? SUZY I can figure something out. (Pause. SUZY speaks to audience.) SUZY At night, I like to lie in the back of the station wagon and watch the stars come out while Allegra drives. Allegra does not like this. I can feel it in the way she drives. She feels deserted and left out. Because the stars are all mine and the whooshing cars are hers. The headlights blind her and trail across the windshield. The stars lull me to sleep. ALLEGRA Why don’t you sleep in the back again? You seem to like that. SUZY No. I need a bed. I need room service. I need a bathtub. ALLEGRA They’ll want money up front. SUZY Christ! You’re so . . . ALLEGRA What? SUZY Nothing. (Pause. ALLEGRA speaks to the audience.) ALLEGRA During the day, I watch the land change from east land to west land. Hills become plains become canyons become plains become canyons become plains become mountains. In the middle of the US, all the billboards advertise x-rated stores and fireworks and Jesus. In Texas we saw the biggest cross in the Western Hemisphere. The dirt becomes red in Oklahoma. There are forests of windmills followed by miniature oil rigs. There are petrified logs. Tiny lizards. Huge canyons. There are miles and miles of nothing. SUZY (To audience) There is no doubt we are running. The only question is how long can we continue. (To ALLEGRA.) We’re really good friends now, huh? ALLEGRA Yeah. SUZY Like best friends? ALLEGRA Uh huh. SUZY Best friends could stab each other and it’d be OK. We’d forgive each other for things, huh? ALLEGRA You mean like for stealing this car and not telling me? SUZY Yeah. That. And for kissing your boyfriend? ALLEGRA . . . SUZY Now you’re mad. ALLEGRA . . . SUZY I didn’t mean to. It just happened. ALLEGRA . . . SUZY I’m sorry. You deserve better anyway. ALLEGRA No I don’t. SUZY Oh, honey, yes you do. We both do. ALLEGRA I think this trip was a mistake. SUZY No it wasn’t. ALLEGRA Don’t talk to me. Just don’t talk to me. SUZY What did I do? and the new version of the same scene--I prefer the above but because of where it is in the play, the audience can't stand all the inactivity then and I really had to lose a lot of the ambience. ah well. Here is the new version: SCENE 21 (ALLEGRA and SUZY in the car.) SUZY I have to sleep in a bed tonight I don’t care what you say. ALLEGRA Why don’t you sleep in the back of the car again? You seem to like that. SUZY No. I need a bed. I need room service. I need a bathtub. ALLEGRA They’ll want money up front. SUZY So? ALLEGRA How are we gonna buy gas to get back? SUZY Christ! You’re so . . . ALLEGRA What? SUZY Nothing. ALLEGRA I’m sorry. (Pause) SUZY It’s OK. (beat) We’re really good friends now, huh? ALLEGRA Yeah. SUZY Like best friends? ALLEGRA Uh huh. SUZY Best friends could stab each other and it’d be OK. We’d forgive each other for things, huh? ALLEGRA You mean like for stealing this car and not telling me? SUZY Yeah. That. And for kissing your boyfriend? ALLEGRA . . . SUZY Now you’re mad. ALLEGRA . . . SUZY I didn’t mean to. It just happened. ALLEGRA . . . SUZY I’m sorry. You deserve better anyway. ALLEGRA No I don’t. SUZY Oh, honey, yes you do. We both do. ALLEGRA I think this trip was a mistake. SUZY No it wasn’t. ALLEGRA Don’t talk to me. Just don’t talk to me. SUZY What did I do?

Mar 9, 2007

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich
acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even
as he led the charge against President Clinton over
the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an
interview with a conservative Christian group.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-Gingrich-Affair.html?hp

impeach

>From Freeman

http://matthewfreeman.blogspot.com/

http://www.commondreams.org/views07/0307-22.htm

Impeaching Bush--why couldn't this have happend years ago?

Mar 8, 2007

from early career dramaturgs

Only two days left to shop for early career
dramaturgs! Tell your
friends, your enemies, your colleagues, and especially
your really rich
connections to go to
http://www.missionfish.org/NPMMF/nphomepage.jsp?NP_ID=10372
or
search for seller "Literary_Managers_and_Dramaturgs"
on eBay!

current play

These are notes and the outline of the play i am
currently writing. i have already deviated from the
outline in some parts and I'm sure will deviate again.
Also, don't think that some of that terrible dialogue
will actually be in the play. it's just a guide for
me.

This is a play that takes place in new york. It
starts when the rabbit comes out of the bathroom and
ends when the rabbit packs his bags and leaves.
The main character wants a friend but can't get over
the death of his friend. Strong need to connect.

1 the apt todd in bathroom, brian going to work.
Brian talking to todd. Neal enters brian tries to
talk to him but there is no connection. Neal exits
and then todd comes out of the bathroom. –how do I
look? --good.
2 at work John show ropes –job is ridiculous. Before
john arrives Miranda appears over cubicle wall and
says nothing? Says hello? And then john comes in and
starts telling him what to do. Todd sits and watches
and makes comments. His comments are perhaps what
brian is thinking. intro Miranda what she's all
about brian tells he he just moved here from a small
liberal arts college in new Hampshire? --why did you
come to new york? I don't know. –you don't know?
--I want to do something worthwhile. –oh. What? --I
don't know. and then john asks her to come to his
office and she says alright but talks to brian for a
while longer –I like to make him wait. after Miranda
leaves, todd talks about her
3tries to connect with roommate again. On arrival,
brian says hi neal –hi and then todd –hi neal. Neal
says nothing. Brian tries to talk to him and then
--ok I guess I'll go to my room.
4Miranda and boss in fighting match followed by
Miranda talking about the overthrow of capitalism and
how she will do her part does he want to get a drink.
Maybe opens with todd reading out loud from a book
about rabbits while brian tries to alphabetize.
5 the drink let's make out they do? Won't that be
weird at work? If you don't want to? No, let's do
it.
5b she takes him back to the office and they have
sex? On a copier? In the boss's office? What goes
wrong here? He does something wrong? He says I love
you maybe? He gets too close. Sex is offstage and
todd narrates the whole thing.
6 scene with Miranda and boss where we figure out
what's going on. She is difficult, young, he wants
her to have sex with him. Miranda ignores brian at
work.

Act 2
Phone messages where it becomes clear she is ignoring
him at work and ignoring his phone calls.
6b—what's with the getup. –oh I'm a bicycle
messenger. You are ? --now I am. –I didn't even
know you had a bike. –yeah. It was under the stairs.
–how did you become a bike messenger? --Apparently I
ran out of money. –how was it? --every muscle in my
body hurts and apparently I have to do it again
tomorrow. Brian and roommate bond a little over
brian's woman troubles. Neal gives advice tood also
gives advice. He says that brian should just forget
her. Brian ignores him.
6cFollowed by brian confronting Miranda? Brian takes
neal's advice –I'm not crazy. I'm not going to harass
you or anything. And I won't try to have sex with you
again. I just thought we could hang out. I like you.
you like me. Or I though you did. It's been a
really long time since I found someone that I truly
liked. I don't have very good friends but I fell like
you and I could be that—good friends. And I would be
really sad if that wasn't possible anymore. And I'm
sorry because I know I fucked it up because I always
fuck everything good up.
7They make up plan to overthrow the company in a bar.
Miranda tells brian about having sex with the boss—he
gets angry about the boss. Did he force you? We
could have him fired. maybe it's because of my father
she says. It is here that we learn about todd and
about miranda's father who is dying. Is she doing it
for anarchy or is she doing it to get back on the boss
cheating on her? And what are they doing exactly?
8 brian tells the roommate what happened. I think
we're going to just be friends. –is she not that
attractive? --she's very attractive. –then what's
the problem? --well, she's kind of fucked up. I mean
I want to hang out with her but I'm not sure I want to
be part of the drama, you know? Todd tries to
interject but brian is ignoring him –I know you can
hear me. Hey!
9 they carry out the plan. But john comes back while
they are fucking up a cublicle.
John yellsa t them threatens to call cops but she also
threatens to tell the boss and or his wife that he
likes to fuck the temps.
11 they are both out on their asses. They plot to
take down another company. We'll just call another
temp agency. And then we'll take down another
company. She brian and neal hang out and todd leaves.
Like the end of the station agent.

Mar 7, 2007

a hammer

I've been sort of freaking out lately. The normal stuff--what am I doing with my life?, how long can I stand being an administrative assistant?, should I continue to live in New York? etc. But also the fatigue is setting in. I've been working so hard--writing like it's going out of style (which it may be)--but also working so hard on getting my stuff out there, getting it read by strangers. I'm just really tired right now. Tired of all the work it takes to be a playwright. Tired of not seeing anything resembling a way to playwright for a living. And the other voice in my head is saying, "Really?" "Did you really think there was a way to make a living doing what you love?"

All this makes me want to quit, bow out, stop running the race. I'm in the middle of writing a new play. Literally at the intermission and I know I will finish it. Because that's what I do. And behind it I can visualize all the other plays I'm hoping to write in varying stages of clarity. And there is a novel there too, supposedly. And supposedly I'm going to go back to that novel after this play is written. Even though I hear other plays calling.

Even though I am so so tired. Of running on this track. And yet this track is also the only thing that keeps me sane some days. Try to talk to me sometime after I've gone a week without writing. It will not be a pleasant experience for you. You see, I need it to keep me sane but it’s also slowly driving me mad. So I'm not so sure what to do about that. And I keep beating my head against the wall and chips of the wall tumble down but this wall....how thick is this wall? Two feet? Three feet thick? And I need a fucking hammer, OK. My head is found to be insufficient.

But really I just want to stop, move to the country, somewhere where there are trees and I won’t be able to see plays every night. Because it’s not good for me anymore to see the amount of theatre I see. Theatre has taken my life away and I’m not fighting hard enough to get it back. But I love it too. I love the theatre and can’t understand why everyone else doesn’t love it too.

But this life isn’t working right now. I got to take a break. I got to . . . I got to finish this play. Dude, I am fucked.

to do list, NY Times

Thanks to Dam* Writer for this

http://damwriter.blogspot.com/2007/03/read-this-editorial.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/04/opinion/04sun1.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

"The Bush administration's assault on some of the
founding principles of American democracy marches
onward despite the Democratic victory in the 2006
elections. The new Democratic majorities in Congress
can block the sort of noxious measures that the
Republican majority rubber-stamped. But preventing new
assaults on civil liberties is not nearly enough."

Mar 6, 2007

Still available. Check your local bookstore or here or here.

Mar 5, 2007

engaging the youth

Manifesto of note over at Jason Grote

Reminder: In LA this Thurs

Benefit party for my play Food For Fish

http://www.myspace.com/food_for_fish

Dying City Bloggers Night

Dying City
by: Christopher Shinn
Directed by: James Macdonald

You should go see this show. Although I think too
much of it is inactive, when it works, it works very
well. It feels like Chris Shinn is struggling with
something and I appreciate seeing plays by playwrights
that are working something out. Highlights for me
include the Law and Order realization and the
windshield monologue. I also enjoyed the subtle
movement of the stage. I don't know if it means
anything metaphorically but it's a cool thing to
watch.

I predict this play will win the Pulitzer next year.

http://www.lct.org/calendar/event_detail.cfm?ID_event=54624605 other blogger reviews Jaime James George Matt

Mar 2, 2007

from Jason Fitzgerald

Help Dramaturgs. Support Capitalism.

"It is with the greatest pleasure that I cut the
ribbon on the 2nd annual LMDA eBay auction to benefit
early career dramaturgs. As the sun rises on this
Friday morning, you can visit

http://www.missionfish.org/NPMMF/nphomepage.jsp?NP_ID=10372

Or search for the

seller "literary_managers_and_dramaturgs" to see the
exciting items we have for sale."

If you haven't switched yet, please do so now.

http://www.eere.energy.gov/greenpower/buying/buying_power.shtml

Green power, wind and solar--help slow global warming
so NYC won't become an underwater city.

Call up your utility company and switch to green please.

thanks to daisey

http://www.mikedaisey.com/

NY Magazine article about the internet generation

http://nymag.com/news/features/27341/index.html

Mar 1, 2007

thanks to whoever I got this from.

article about getting beyond play development.

http://www.nysun.com/article/49497

from the Dramatists Guild Newsletter--reprinted with permission

For a long time I've been railing against fees--especially submission fees for 10 minute plays or where the award is a reading or no-royalty production. The Guild stepped up yesterday to publicly denounce said fees. Needless to say, this makes me very happy.

From the Desk of Gary Garrison

PEOPLE… PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE

(Portion excised)

As of today, the Guild will no longer publicize calls for submissions that have a fee attached unless that fee is transparent (where does the money go and to whom) in the description to the reader. The subtext: it is not okay to charge a dramatist a fee to supplement a theatre or producer’s production opportunity. YOUR ART IS FEE ENOUGH!

I know all the arguments of why some theatres and producers position that they must charge fees: “We couldn’t afford to produce the event if we didn’t charge a fee. We have to hire readers. We have to publicize the event. We have to pay the actors and directors. We have to offer prize money . . .” I understand that, but theatres and producers are doing that on the backs of people that are more poor than they are! What?! On average, dramatists spend ten dollars to submit a play or musical anywhere in this country: printing, copying, postage, return postage, binders, envelopes. If a theatre or producer tacks on an additional $10, $15 or $30 fee, one submission now costs anywhere from $20-50, with no guarantees that anything will come of it. And yes, I know: there are no guarantees for anyone in the theatre. But all too often this feels like, “we’re not going to guarantee you anything, AND we’re going to charge you for the privilege of that, AND you’ll probably never hear from us, AND don’t expect any kind of critical reaction to your material, AND don’t expect notification of who, in fact, was chosen.” And if it’s not a money issue then it’s a spirit issue: it’s demeaning enough to submit your work to theatres and producers that you never hear from. To pay someone for their silence is too much to ask anyone.

Of course, the easiest thing (at least to me) is to make all fees transparent in the listings (Fee: $25; $10 for readers, $15 for prize money). At least then we can all start holding people accountable on some level. And you can decide if you like what you read. To be clear: we’ll publish a call for submission that explains how submission money is used (some producers do that now). And we’ll continue to publish the big four: the O’Neill, Sundance, Susan Blackburn Prize, Actors Theatre of Louisville with date reminders. But we will no longer list an opportunity that requires you pay a fee to be considered for inclusion.

Enough is enough.

Gary
ggarrison at dramatistsguild dot com

monkey fishing

http://www.slate.com/id/109707/

Feb 28, 2007

edward albee via Freeman

http://www.laweekly.com/stage/theater/is-edward-albee-softening-with-success/15646/

http://matthewfreeman.blogspot.com/

"We have no paucity of good young playwrights, and
good older playwrights; we don't have the happiest
environment for them to work in. Like in the art world
and in literature, the theater's just as trendy, as
dangerous and corrupt. The big problem is the
assumption that writing a play is a collaborative act.
It isn't. It's a creative act, and then other people
come in. The interpretation should be for the accuracy
of what the playwright wrote. Playwrights are expected
to have their text changed by actors they never
wanted. Directors seem to feel they are as creative as
the playwright. Most of these changes are for
commercial reasons. I know a lot about it because I'm
on the council of the Dramatists Guild, but of course
the pressures are on all of us. I'm in the lucky
position where I just say, 'Go fuck yourself; if you
don't want to do the play I wrote, do another play.'
The forces of darkness would back down if everybody
said that."

go here please

stop global warming.

http://algore.com/cards.html it will take you less than 30 seconds.

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