The Ultimate Audition Books

You want to read 2 one minute monologues of mine? Wait, would you like to pay approximately $19.95 plus shipping per monologue? Sounds too good to be true? But wait, you also get 220 other one minute monologues to read per book. That's right PER BOOK!!! 221 One Minute Monologues for Men http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/157525400X/qid=1147454859/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-5865691-1148723?s=books&v=glance&n=283155 221 One Minute Monologue for Women http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1575254018/qid=1147454859/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/104-5865691-1148723?s=books&v=glance&n=283155 I got a one time fee for these so no need to buy multiple copies to support me. If you do want to support me however, come see my shows in June and July. Details soon.

Brooklyn Rail Articles

http://brooklynrail.org/2006-05/theater

An excellent article by Ms. Palmer about Ms. Callagahn.

Mike Daisey article--lookit the blogroll. If you don't know this guy you should

Gary Winter--I know you know Gary. Everyone knows Gary, right?

I'm writing slowly now. I've stopped actually. i'm on page 66 of this play called Incendiary and I'm completely stuck. I have some vague ideas about the ending but no idea how to write this next scene. so I'll blog instead I guess.

Our cat Skeezer has developed the habit of knocking water glasses (and most recently a pitcher) on the kitchen floor where they shatter. Then she likes to roll in the broken glass. I can only assume she is trying to revisit an experience from a previous life.

Double P Part II

per my day job, I am invited to the Pulitzer luncheon. What's the point though, really? no one freakin won. I know there are other people who have won awards, journalists, fiction writers etc.

But I am atending for the free food in the middle of my workday.

M F

So Let me tell you about Matthew Freeman http://matthewfreeman.blogspot.com/.

As he blogs, we recently met for the first time. It is true he is tall and young looking. (between 15 and 20 I would say) It is also true I enjoyed talking to him a great deal. His girlfriend (who will remain anonymous to protect her from ravaging online hobos and the such) I found sweet and smart and funny. And she has great taste in literature. As for her choice in men, well let me speak more on this.

What Matthew may or may not have told you is that his father was an Episcopal minister. This for me explains a lot. He has the angelic face one would expect of a minister and to go with that or against that, he has the desire to cause small rifts of strife, or clouds of chaos . . . or something of something.

Those of you who read his blog and comments already know this. I find this kind of charming actually. I hope our paths cross again soon.

schedule for Food For Fish in July

http://www.httheater.org/kraine.html#july

"I just got steamrolled"

A NY Times article about the school where Kristen teaches can be found here. I haven't talked to Kristen about it yet but this article seems pretty biased. There is lots of space given to detractors of the school whereas I know a lot of the parents believe stongly in the school and I wonder why they aren't quoted alongside the detractors and their minions. Also the guy who wrote it was hanging around at the beginning of the year. Some things work differently there now. Land of the Free http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/07/nyregion/thecity/07free.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

scene I had to delete from Pretty Theft

SCENE 30

(On one side of the stage the WAITRESS sits at a table, a couple of empty glasses in front of her. BARTENDER approaches.)

BARTENDER You want another drink, Lily?

WAITRESS I don’t know. BARTENDER Who does this guy think he is? I mean where did he come from?

WAITRESS I don’t know.

BARTENDER He just shows up and, what, you’re having a drink with him? I mean if he does show up. But where the hell is he?

WAITRESS I don’t know.

BARTENDER Are you going to sleep with him?

WAITRESS I’ll have that drink now.

BARTENDER (Moving to make the drink.) Whatever happened to us?

WAITRESS There never was an us.

BARTENDER You know what I mean. I woulda treated you like a princess.

WAITRESS I’m not a princess, Floyd.

BARTENDER You would’ve drank for free.

WAITRESS He’s not coming.

BARTENDER I never would’ve done that. Standing someone up. Specially not you.

WAITRESS I know.

BARTENDER So . . .

WAITRESS No.

BARTENDER No? Not even on a trial basis?

WAITRESS No.

BARTENDER Oh. You want like a hot dog or something? On the house.

WAITRESS Can I use your phone?

(BARTENDER hands her the phone.)

WAITRESS (on phone) Hello, Tom. I think I have an idea where you can find those girls.

Creepy new weapons from the Bush Administration

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/03/washington/03laser.html?_r=1&ex=1146974400&en=05ce20f115c14bac&ei=5087%0A&oref=slogin

The Bush administration is seeking to develop a powerful ground-based laser weapon that would use beams of concentrated light to destroy enemy satellites in orbit.

words for thursday

I got a rash on my hands from living here I'm tired cause my cat wakes me up When I turn my neck it cracks three times When I breathe I wheeze and cough and hack My wrist hurts from this repetitive keyboard my bed looks comfortable but it's hurting my back I am deep in debt I am unkempt I am quiet and little and small

But at night I get to come home to you

at night then you are there

the night is so long so long in coming

and you never read my blog

Here's an article that discusses student loans and job and life choices for our generation. They don't mention the arts but I know my loans are much higher than the kids mentioned (MUCH HIGHER) and NYC is much more expensive than most of the country. I'm in a lot of debt people and I will be paying it off for the next 30 years unless something extraodinary happens. Isn't it amazing what we will do for our art?

Student loans - a life sentence Forget about getting married and buying a home. This generation is thinking about next month's payment.

"Call it a reverse dowry: college debt diverts careers and delays or impedes graduates' plans to get married, buy a home or even to start a family. The effects can last years."

The cumulative effect of such student debt on graduates is unclear, although few would argue that its impact will be positive for the graduates, the economy or society.

"We've never done this to a generation of young people before," said Dr. Heather Boushey, Senior Economist at the progressive Center for Economic and Policy Research. "We've never put a generation in their 20s in debt they can't get out of before they started their work life."

"The normal approach in any healthy society is to help young married couples get started in life through marital gifts, dowries, and the like," Allan Carlson of the socially-conservative Howard Center for Family, Religion, and Society said.

"We now burden many young adults with student debt, sometimes massive in nature; the price being paid includes marriages delayed or foregone and fewer children. This is foolish public policy."

** NEW DATES! NEW VENUE! NEW SCHEDULE! **

NERVE June 8 - July 1 at 14th Street Y

Packawallop Productions has teamed up with Hypothetical Theatre Company to present the World Premiere of NERVE, a new play by Adam Szymkowicz. This production, which begins previews June 8 at the 14th Street Y will replace the previously announced production. Directed by Scott Ebersold, the production stars Susan Louise O'Connor and Travis York with sets by Nicholas Vaughn (winner, Best Set Design FringeNYC 2005), costumes by Jessica Watters, sound by Brian Hallas and choreography by Wendy Seyb.

Opening night is now slated for Monday, June 12th.

NERVE is a dark romantic comedy about falling into a relationship on the first date. Elliot has never had an online date before... at least one that showed up. Susan has had plenty but would prefer not to discuss them. When they meet in a bar one night, all their neuroses come out. So do a puppet, some modern dance and surprising twist or two.

NERVE runs June 8 - July 1, Thursday - Saturday at 8pm and Monday at 7pm with an added show Sunday, June 11 at 7pm. The 14th Street Y is located at is located at 344 East 14th Street (between 1st & 2nd Aves., accessible from the L train at 1st Avenue). Tickets are $15, available at 212-868-4444 or www.smarttix.com.

see it yourself here

http://video.freevideoblog.com/video/wm/AAC7FA18-2DDC-4D3E-B1BB-9D6CBD83E27F.htm

COLBERT TAKES ON BUSH

wow. read Chris Durang's comments on Stephen Colbert's fierce and funny criticism at a White House Dinner. The press is ignoring it but if you read it, it's hard to ignore.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-durang/ignoring-colbert-part-tw_b_20130.html

"Now, I know there's some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias."

"And as excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story, the President's side and the Vice President's side."

"Jesse Jackson is here. I had him on the show. Very interesting and challenging interview. You can ask him anything, but he's going to say what he wants at the pace that he wants. It's like boxing a glacier."

"Enjoy that metaphor, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is."

STRESS

I have to admit I'm getting a little stressed out. All this planning for productions and attending writing groups and school while holding down a 9-5 job is getting to be a bit overwhelming. Not that I'm complaining. Because the Nerve rehearsal I attended recently blew me away. It's all the other stuff--these problems that come up that have to be solved one way or another. How am I going to go to rehearsals in DC and when? Because I maay be rehearsing here at the same time or in Vermont. Also I'm expected to show up to work probably. Not to mention that I have to rewrite for these July productions.

and then the idea of getting reviewed is freaking me out a little. and part of this is my belief that the big paper--you know the one I mean--the big paper doesn't get comedy--and of course that's a generalization and there are some good and even great writers working there but I'm afraid I'm going to get squashed if they come at all. Because every play I've seen in the last two years that I loved--everytime I said Fuck I want to make theatre like that--the play got squashed by the big paper.

From International Herald Tribune

http://www.iht.com/bin/print_ipub.php?file=/articles/2006/04/25/opinion/edzbig.php But there are four compelling reasons against a preventive air attack on Iranian nuclear facilities: 1. In the absence of an imminent threat (with the Iranians at least several years away from having a nuclear arsenal), the attack would be a unilateral act of war. If undertaken without formal Congressional declaration, it would be unconstitutional and merit the impeachment of the president. Similarly, if undertaken without the sanction of the UN Security Council either alone by the United States or in complicity with Israel, it would stamp the perpetrator(s) as an international outlaw(s). 2. Likely Iranian reactions would significantly compound ongoing U.S. difficulties in Iraq and in Afghanistan, perhaps precipitate new violence by Hezbollah in Lebanon, and in all probability cause the United States to become bogged down in regional violence for a decade or more to come. Iran is a country of some 70 million people and a conflict with it would make the misadventure in Iraq look trivial. 3. Oil prices would climb steeply, especially if the Iranians cut their production and seek to disrupt the flow of oil from the nearby Saudi oil fields. The world economy would be severely impacted, with America blamed for it. Note that oil prices have already shot above $70 per barrel, in part because of fears of a U.S./Iran clash. 4. America would become an even more likely target of terrorism, with much of the world concluding that America's support for Israel is itself a major cause of the rise in terrorism. America would become more isolated and thus more vulnerable while prospects for an eventual regional accommodation between Israel and its neighbors would be ever more remote.

Come see my play Nerve

Packawallop Productions presents Nerve Tuesday, May 16, 2006 through Saturday, June 03, 2006 A dark romantic comedy about falling into a relationship on the first date. Length: 1 hr 20 mins Elliot has never had an online date before . . . at least one that showed up. Susan has had plenty but would prefer not to discuss them. When they meet in a bar one night, all their neuroses come out. So do a puppet, some modern dance and surprising twist or two. Buy Tickets More Information

From Edward Albee interview

I’ve read that you used to skip your own premieres. Yes—if I could find a Monty Python movie, I would go there. I do think Fawlty Towers is one of the greatest television series. Right now, I’m deeply enamored of a really bad show called That ’70s Show. It’s fucking funny. I’ve been examining the reruns of Seinfeld very, very carefully. I think I admire the skill of what they were doing more than the thing itself.

Read Chris Durang's new article

check the blogroll on the right peeps.

from an email my union sent me

Here are some of the reasons UAW members have expressed in opposition to the war....

* The war has killed 2300 US troops -- children, friends and relatives -- and maimed 20,000 more. * The war has killed 100,000 of the Iraqi people. * We're spending billions on war costs instead on job creation, health care and education. * The war is a smokescreen for an assault on working people: tax breaks for the rich, and cutbacks in health care, pensions and jobs for the rest of us. * Millions of our tax dollars have been spent on Bush's corporate cronies. * Iraqi people have been left unemployed, without schools or hospitals, with women's rights and unions under attack. * National Guard and Reserve members have been taken from their jobs and families for indefinite service. * Our civil liberties and labor rights are threatened and the US constitution undermined.

http://www.madcapplayers.com/

As part of the Capital Fringe Festival Madcap Players presents the world premiere of PRETTY THEFT by Adam Szymkowicz directed by Christopher Snipe

July 23-30, 2006

Canadian Embassy 501 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20001

ALL TICKETS ARE $15

Capital Fringe Festival Box Office Opens Monday, July 10, 2006

new scene (first draft, mind you)

(Enter ELISE carrying a bag.)

ELISE I’m sorry I’m late.

CARRIE Oh, that’s OK.

ELISE Are you all right?

CARRIE Fine, why do you ask?

ELISE You’re sweating a lot.

CARRIE I’m fine.

ELISE Something horrible’s happened. There was a woman in the building I set on fire. I’ve always been very careful. I watch out for my boys, you know and make sure no one gets burned or sprains even a fingertip. It’s not easy. It’s a dangerous job but so far I’ve been successful but then some woman dressed like a banker goes into condemned building I’m burning down. What was she doing there?

CARRIE So what you’re saying is that you burned down the building? The one on the news where the woman was taken out on a stretcher?

ELISE Are you listening to me?

CARRIE Isn’t that what you said?

ELISE Of course that’s what I said.

CARRIE I just wanted to be sure that’s what you said.

ELISE What’s with you?

CARRIE Nothings with me. (Pause) My husband was just here.

ELISE Stop talking about your husband.

CARRIE (Louder) I enjoy talking about my husband. I am fascinated by all topics related to my HUSBAND.

ELISE Can we get back to the session?

CARRIE Yes, I . . . What does a cockatoo sound like?

ELISE I don’t think I should come here anymore.

CARRIE You don’t?

ELISE I don’t think you’re helping me.

CARRIE Of course I am. You really don’t think I’m helping you.

ELISE Well, I’m still setting fires.

CARRIE But you’re in a relationship now. That’s going well.

ELISE Only because I lie to him when he brings up his arson investigations.

CARRIE Sure, but apart from t hat, it’s going well isn’t it? I mean we all have our secrets. KUH KAW!!

ELISE What are you doing?

CARRIE KAW KAW! COCK A DOODLE DOO!!

ELISE Stop that.

CARRIE Sorry. I’m going to go into the hall for a minute.

ELISE What’s goin’ on?

CARRIE Nothing.

ELISE The cops are out there, aren’t they?

CARRIE I told you to stop setting fires. I warned you. I told you someone would get hurt.

ELISE You bitch!

(ELISE slaps CARRIE.)

CARRIE Ow. Help!

ELISE Where are they? In the hallway? You can’t hear anything in the hallway. Otherwise all your patients would know all the other patient’s secrets.

CARRIE I know, but, HELP!

ELISE Stop that.

CARRIE Someone has to stop you.

ELISE Well, it won’t be you.

(ELISE takes a gas can from her bag and starts pouring gas in a line on the floor.)

CARRIE My rug! What are you doing?

ELISE What do you think I’m doing?

CARRIE This is my office.

ELISE You’re fired.

(ELISE lights a match and throw it on the ground which goes up in flames*)

(CARRIE stands there a moment in shock while ELISE climbs out the window.)

(CARRIE then runs into the hall screaming. A few seconds later GARY TOMMY and JIMMY burst into the room followed by CARRIE. GARY has an extinguisher and puts out the fire.)

GARY Where’d she go?

CARRIE Down the fire escape.

Mon the 24th in LosAngeles my short play "America at War"

PARTY TO FAVOR

Got a case of the Mondays? Or is it the incessant stupidity and arrogance of our leaders that's bringing you down? In either case, you need some cheering, and doubtless a drink. Fortunately, tonight radical troupers Third Man Productions have teamed up with the Young Progressive Majority organization to entertain, enliven, and inebriate you with "The Political Party," which includes a live theater show with plenty of political satire, plus music, dancing, and drinking. "It doesn't matter if you're a part of the Democratic or Republican party; the bottom line is, our party serves tequila," say producer Jonathan Caren. Billed as "a benefit for your benefit," this party wants YOU! 8 p.m. $8. The Derby, 4500 Los Feliz Blvd., Los Feliz. Info: Thirdmanproductions.com or Goypm.org.

Nerve this May!!

In New York. Don't miss it.

A play in Boston

Devanaughn Theatre proudly presents the 4th Annual Dragonfly Festival May 4 – 21, 2006 Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at 8 pm, Sunday Matinees at 3 pm at the Piano Factory, 791 Tremont Street Rear, In Boston’s Historic South End Press Nights: Every Friday, May 5, 12, and 19 23 New Plays… Burst Into Life… Startle the Senses… Ignite the Imagination…

Tickets are $15 and can be purchased online at

www.theatermania.com or 1.866.811.4111 Reservations Strongly Recommended. More Info: 617.247.9777 Discounted Series Passes Also Available: $25 (2 Weeks) or $30 (Entire Festival) 4th Annual Dragonfly Festival Line Up Each week of the festival includes 7 or 8 new plays. Each play performs all 4 shows each week: Thurs/Fri/Sat 8 pm and Sunday Matinees 3 pm

Week A: May 4, 5, 6 & 7 A Fresh Start, by Peter Snoad, directed by Louisa Richards When anarchy rules the world, what’s the key to salvation? Poetry or makeovers? The Elevator, by Jerry Thompson, directed by Andrew Sarno An arrogant, self centered corporate CEO more than meets his match while stuck in an elevator with a Latino carpenter. The Gorf, by Jon Busch, directed by John O’Brien Four friends attempt to cope with the benevolent dictatorship of a mysterious, omnipresent political leader. Just Like That, by Beth Newhall, directed by Louisa Richards Sometimes life's biggest changes come in the smallest moments. Reunion, by Theodore Rickard, directed by Lisa Rafferty An old love affair is recalled -- not too fondly, but too well. Shades, by Mark Harvey Levine, directed by Sarah Friedberg A single moment in time, looked at from many different angles. Plus it's got monkeys. Soon, by William Donnelly, directed by Ava Geffen In this snapshot of a May-December romance, a seemingly joyful present is interrupted by glimpses of an illicit past and a dark future. Trevor Waits, by Rich Herstek, directed by Sarah Friedberg For thirty years, an old man has been desperately in love with someone he has never seen, never spoken to and never had the nerve to approach. Someone he knows only by her piano playing. Week B: May 11, 12, 13 & 14 Black Ops, by William Donnelly, directed by Heather McNamara A mysterious man receives ominous instructions from a shadowy colleague – all in a day's work. Breakfast with Harvey, by Andrew Clarke, directed by Rose Carlson An actor and his personal assistant are in need of the most important meal of the day. A comedy in the Elizabethan style with Xanax and hatred. Destinations, by Robert Scott Sullivan, directed by Chris Cavalier Funny thing about temptation...it takes you places you never thought you'd go Flight Pending, by Robert Mattson, directed by David Behrstock Attractive woman traveling alone seeks solitude, but this guy didn't get the memo. The flight boards at 8:00, but he was loaded at 6:15. Last Call, by Myra Slotnick, directed by Elizabeth Deveney A play about Drinking, Dialing and Deliverance. My Name Is Art, by Peter Snoad, directed by Lau Lapides High-brow, low-brow, or just plain crap, Art is never quite what it seems. The Ravages of Sunlight, by Matt Mayerchak, directed by Fred Robbins It’s two a.m., and you’re drinking in your hotel room with the woman from the trade show. Everything is perfect, except for that little voice inside your head. A play about sex, morals and prefab housing. Superhero, by Mark Harvey Levine, directed by Barlow Adamson Leonard thinks he's a Superhero, and Rachel knows he'll keep coming back as long as she comes up with new ways to be rescued. Week C: May 18, 19, 20 & 21 Amy & John: One, Two, Three, written and directed by Sean David Bennett A playwright's attempt to exorcise the grief and pain that comes whenever we lose someone we love. Breakfast with Warhol, by Christopher Lockheardt, directed by Randy Marquis For some, Warhol's famous prediction was a warning; for others, a promise. Existential Love, by Jonathon Myers, directed by Michael Haddad As philosopher Jean-Paul attempts to negotiate his relationship with fellow philosopher Simone at a café in mid-20th century Paris, he finds that the soul is at a loss against the intellect. Gaslit, by Judith Pratt, directed by Lau Lapides A sleek corporate pirhana and a paranoid burnout seek clarity and competitive advantage until their key collaborative partnership turns into an actual wrestling match. But which one is lying? Paradise Proper, by Rich Herstek, directed by Michael Haddad For some people, the suburbs are Heaven. But what if Heaven was like the suburbs? Snow, by Adam Szymkowicz, directed by Tim Rubel Adrift in a snowstorm in New York. Team Player, by Dale Andersen, directed by Lisa Rafferty A trophy wife must choose: life or death? Special Guests include… Alice Hunter, On-e-On Dance: www.oneon.org Katie McD, Gaelic Singer/Songwriter: www.katiemcdgirl.com Michael Norsworthy, Clarinetist: www.michaelnorsworthy.com Michelle Doyle, Clarinetist

from production of Sad in CA

MissMadMad

Last night I saw the Naked Angels show, Mistakes Madeline Made and was blown away. You need to see it. I was extremely impressed with Evan Cabnet's direction and hope I get to work with him again soon.

The actors were incredible, especially Laura Heisler, but really all of them are just outstanding and funny and sympathetic.

But the play, god, the play is really really good. It made me rexamine my own work, which I'm still doing. It was humbling. I hope Liz Meriwether is proud.

But seriously, go see this show while it's running. It's an example of where I hope theatre is going.

this Wed

I took a workshop with P Vogel at the Flea a month or two ago and it was very inspirational in many ways but one thing that she said that I'm thinking about a great deal was that we have to stick together as playwrights. We have to form groups and support each other and I think that's partially what this blog thing is about for me.

It's about getting angry and about getting excited about things going on in our theatre world and then sharing it with one another and talking about it incessantly.

I do most of my talking (ranting) offline with theatre friends and in my playwright groups but I just wanted to say I appreciate the intelligent talk and the outrage and the joy expressed here in the blogworld.

That's all. Thanks.