fratricide

here is the replacement poem i wrote for the scene in
my cowboy hamlet. I'm not saying it's a better poem.
in fact the fact that it's bad is kind of the point.
And it works better in context but here it is anyway.

Fratricide: A Poem For a Bear to Read

In the grimy streets of
Dust-y
Dust
Where the flowers don't grow
Fratricide

A man goes out to buy a horse
But comes home with
A gun instead
It gleams
Polished as it is
Fratricide

A Bear is just a large person who feels too much

Fratricide

I had
Such
Hope in my heart
Before
Fratricide

Flowers at the funeral
No flowers at the saloon

A bear will hibernate in winter
But our feelings
Cannot sleep
Fratricide

on wonkette
http://www.wonkette.com/politics/impeachment/its-a-mandate-209624.php

via daisey
http://www.mikedaisey.com/

"Buried in this Newsweek story is the news that 51% of
American voters want Bush impeached — 28% say High
Priority, 23% say Low Priority, 44% against, 6%
undecided or don't know what a president is. And only
78% of Republicans oppose impeachment, proving
something or other.

Didn't Bush come back in '04 claiming 51% was a
"mandate" for all kinds of new fun?"

a poem

this is a poem I am deleting from my cowboy hamlet
play and replacing with something funnier. It is a
poem the dancing bear delivers so that the Hamlet can
watch his uncle's reaction. You know, that thing the
traveling players do? It's for that. Anyway, this no
longer cuts it, so here it is.

Once there was a bear
By the name of Mean Dean
He was the meanest bear
You have ever seen

He had long dark fur
Coals for eyes
Growls on his lips of enormous size

But his brother was better
In every manner
Stronger and sleeker
With paws like hammers
And a wife bear besides
Of enormous size
With soft red lips
And warm yellow eyes

Mean Dean decides
To perform fratricide
To be the biggest baddest bear
In town

So one day when
Brother bear turns his back
Mean Dean runs
With a drop-kick
Ten-claw
All-teeth
Two-fist
Red-rage
Unconscionable
Attack

And when brother is dead
Mean Dean eats his flesh
Takes his cave
Seduces his bearoness

The moral is
There is no moral
Because who can stop a bear?
Only a bullet perhaps
Between the eyes
To catch him unaware

scene from new play--first draft as always

(Back at the White House, CHENEY watches the PRESIDENT playing with the puppets.) PRESIDENT Oh, Mr. President, you’re so smart and funny. Thank you. You’re also such a talented artist. Thank you. What is that? A tree? It’s a giraffe. You like it though? I love it. And I know a lot about art. I am an art specialist. Oh, you are? Yes I am. I would like to have sex with you. Oh, my. But I have a wife who I love. But I really want to have sex with you. It’s one of the ten commandments. I’m sorry I just can’t. Oh, I’m so disappointed. CHENEY Mr. President, can I talk to you for a minute? PRESIDENT Can’t you see I’m busy? I’m making plans. I’ve got a lot of planning to do, planning various things. Lots to do here in the White House. CHENEY I know, sir. It’s just . . . PRESIDENT Not, now, Cheney. CHENEY Ok, sir, I’ll talk to you later. (CHENEY does not move.) PRESIDENT (tries to go back to playing with puppets but there is no joy in it.) See now I can’t concentrate. CHENEY Sorry, sir. PRESIDENT Why did you have to interrupt. You saw I was working, didn’t you? CHENEY I’m sorry, sir. PRESIDENT All right, what was it you wanted? CHENEY It’s just, well I’m not sure how’ll you’ll take this. PRESIDENT I don’t want to hear any more about any polls. CHENEY No, it’s not that sir. It’s these feelings that I’m having. PRESIDENT Don’t ever trust your feelings. You feelings will lead you to do stupid things that are often not in your best interest. Have you ever read The Prince? CHEENY No. PRESIDENT Well, me either but it’s on my reading list. CHENEY I wanted to tell you. PRESIDENT What? CHENEY That I admire you. PRESIDENT Well, of course you admire me. I’m your president. CHENEY No, I really admire you and I think about you a lot. PRESIDENT Well, I think about you too. CHENEY No, like a whole lot. PRESIDENT As you should. CHENEY But I dream about you. I think about you when I’m having relations with the wife. I day dream about you when you’re not in the room, wanting and wishing that you would come in the room so I can be near your magnetic energy. PRESIDENT Do you think about my paintings? CHENEY Not really. PRESIDENT I’m done with this conversation. CHENEY Well, sometimes I imagine that you ask me to pose for you and you say why don’t we try it without the shirt and so I take off the shirt and then you say maybe you should take off those pants too. They look uncomfortable and you know, they are so I take them off and then you say maybe without the boxers too and so there I am in my black socks completely naked, exposed in front of you. PRESIDENT Maybe I should paint you. CHENEY You should? PRESIDENT My problem is that I can’t paint people. I don’t understand or care about people really and it makes it hard to paint them. They all look the same like puppets. Identical puppets or at least that is what my critics say. But I want to understand people, I do. Especially if it will make me a better artist. All I want is to be alone in my room with my paints but I can’t do that I have all these obligations—I never would have even thought of trying to be president either if I had only been able to sell a painting. no one wanted one, not even mother. And all the other businesses I ran were failing terribly, probably because I was drunk all the time, so I thought well if all else fails at least I can become president. And that might not be so very bad. But what I really want is to be a famous painter. They would look at them, everyone would and they would see amazing things and they would say “look at that.” “Look at how well he understands the human condition” and “wow! The things he is saying with his art.” “Wowee, what a brilliant genius.” “the New York Times calls the President a brilliant genius.” It’s about freakin time that paper starts being fair to me. The next painting. Once they see the next painting they will have to accept me. The polls will shoot up and everyone will see. They will see that I understand people and the plight of the person. Humanity. I can’t paint people. CHENEY You can paint me, Mr. President. PRESIDENT Yeah? Hmm. Well, maybe I should be painting someone more attractive though. Don’t you think?

photos by punam bean

Here are some photos from the NYTR (http://www.nytr.org/) benefit. Thanks again to our talented team: Kip Fagan, Alexis Soloski and jason Grote. http://www.nytr.org/brick_100206_adam.html

From Chris Durang's newest post:

"When I was growing up in the 50s, "live and let live" was often said about people who were different, and even about people whom one disagreed with. It seemed an American value. I don't feel I've heard that phrase in a very long time. I hope it returns to the voices and thoughts of my fellow citizens"

1st draft of scene from new play

The REPORTERS remove their reporting clothes and underneath they wear desert fatigues. They carry machineguns and are marching through the desert.) SARAH I just don’t understand. Why are we the only people looking for Osama? HANK We don’t know that. SARAH Well, is someone else looking for him too because if so we should talk to those people and then maybe we could do this in a more systematic way. HANK Let’s just do our job, OK? JONES Why is this even my job? I am a radiologist. SARAH This wind is killing me. Do we know where we are? HANK We’re in the desert. SARAH Sure, but as compared to where we were yesterday. JONES I am a radiologist. HANK We’re north of there. SARAH I know, but . . . Are we getting any closer? Are we making any progress? HANK No one shot at us today yet. SARAH Is that progress? HANK Well, I’m happy about it. JONES I am a specialist. I have a degree. Why did they send me? SARAH I’m a helicopter pilot. HANK Can you both be a little more positive? We have a job to do and I can’t stand to hear you complaining all the time. SARAH Sorry, Hank. JONES I’m sorry too. JONES and SARAH We’re sorry. (Pause) JONES I wish we were back guarding the oil fields. At least then I knew what the fuck I was doing. SARAH Hey, what did he just say? HANK It’s OK, Sarah. JONES I’m sorry. Sorry. HANK Let’s stop here. (Pause) JONES Maybe we should go back to those caves. SARAH Are we going to start going in a different direction again? HANK Shut up for a second will you? Let me think. (A shift in light. Perhaps the sound of wind.) SARAH (looking at HANK) I like to watch his eyelashes flutter while he thinks. What is it about him? The way he stands, the commanding presence? The little specks of gray in his eye? Sometimes when I close my eyes I feel his hand on me, on my toes, on my legs, on my waist, on my back. I feel him on the back of my neck and it makes me feel tiny. Like he could hold me in his hand. Sometimes I imagine him reaching in and pushing aside my ribs like a waterfall to grasp my beating heart. If it’s beating too fast he can squeeze it and release, squeeze it and release until it beats at whatever pace he wants. It will beat for him, because of him. I think it’s beating for him now. Thump thump. Thump thump. Oh, if I could only have his lips on me. His eyes on me. His hands. /His hands his hands his hands his hands his hands. JONES I like to watch her eyelashes flutter when she thinks. I imagine she’s thinking of me. She doesn’t dare to look at me. How could she? She’s too embarrassed. Her feelings for me run too deep. Should I tell her? Should I let her know that it’s not just her who feels this way but I too am hiding deep feelings? It’s funny and indescribable but I know it as soon as I see it. This is only the second time I’ve been in love and the first time burned with the same intensity. Sometimes in the desert I think she’s a mirage but then she coughs or spits and I remember that she is not a mirage but my second serious love. Soon, I’ll tell her. I’ll tell her soon. Those eyes. Ow. Physical pain from those eyes, those lips, those hands, those hands, those hands / those hands. (Shift) HANK (To SARAH) Why are you looking at me like that? SARAH I’m not. (To JONES) Why are you looking at me like that? JONES I’m not. (Pause) HANK Let’s go this way.

From NY Times:

BAGHDAD, Oct. 10 — A team of American and Iraqi public health researchers has estimated that 600,000 civilians have died in violence across Iraq since the 2003 American invasion, the highest estimate ever for the toll of the war here.

CIVILIANS!!!! People who are in the wrong place at the wrong time. It must be hard to support the American Occupation when you see your families and friends die.

a short play of mine in LA starting oct 13.

http://www.theatermania.com/content/show.cfm/show/126054

http://www.theatreofnote.com/#lick

first draft of scene from new play

(Back in the White House the PRESIDENT and CHENEY)

PRESIDENT What are you doing tonight, Cheney?

CHENEY Well, me and the wife and Halliburton were gonna go out and catch that new superhero film. That OK?

PRESIDENT Sure sure.

CHENEY You’ll be OK in the White House without me for a couple hours?

PRESIDENT Oh, sure. Sure. You know last night Halliburton and I were having a beer and he said the darnest thing. Oh, I shouldn’t tell you. Oh, you’d hate this. Oh, I gotta tell you. Promise to laugh. You got to promise to laugh.

CHENEY OK.

PRESIDENT You promise?

CHENEY I promise.

PRESIDENT He said you look like the stay puff marshmallow man. That’s what he said. Heh heh.

CHENEY Ha Ha. I will shoot him in the face. I will blast him the fuck away, that fucking bastard who does he think he is?

PRESIDENT Now, don’t get upset. Take a breath.

CHENEY I’m breathing.

PRESIDENT You promised you would laugh.

CHENEY I’m laughing.

PRESIDENT You’re turning red.

CHENEY I’m OK. I’m fine. It’s sorta funny.

PRESIDENT Yeah, right?

CHENEY Anyway, I can’t stay mad at Halliburton.

PRESIDENT No. No, no one can.

CHENEY Listen, I know that the American people have been kind of down on you because of the war and all.

PRESIDENT They have been.

CHENEY And I know that’s hard.

PRESIDENT It is.

CHENEY But we know we’re doing the right thing. I know it and you know it and Halliburton knows it and history will show that this is the right war at the right time.

PRESDIENT I know. It’s just so hard. Everyone is so critical. I’m not used to all this public criticism.

CHENEY Yes, mostly we’ve managed to shield you from it.

PRESIDENT Let’s do that again some more. I just don’t like all the talk.

CHENEY No one does. Listen, I know there’s a lot of pressure to pull out of Iraq. Let me be honest with you, Halliburton wanted me to talk to you.

PRESIDENT About what?

CHENEY He just wants to make sure you’ll stay strong.

PRESIDENT He doesn’t have to worry about me.

CHENEY That’s good to hear.

PRESIDENT Let’s pray a minute.

CHENEY Well, I should be going.

PRESIDENT PRAY!

CHENEY Ok, OK.

PRESIDENT Dear God, Sweet baby Jesus. Please give us the strength to continue this most important war. Please be with our soldiers as they are bombed on the side of the road and blown into smithereens. Please ride beside them. And please let the American people know that you stand beside me. Maybe you could give them a disease. Heh heh. Those bastards. We’ll show them. And please fill me with your mercy so I can stop hating Cheney all the time. Please prevent me from telling the secret service that he is an enemy of the state who must be waterboarded. Please let him laugh at my jokes more and appreciate me and not give me more flak about the war and Halliburton. Also please help him to protect me from criticism that does no one good at all. Amen.

CHENEY Amen.

PRESIDENT Well, you’ve got a movie to go to.

CHENEY Oh, right. I mean unless you’d rather I stay here. I can go to a movie another night.

PRESIDENT Oh, whichever.

CHENEY Maybe I’ll go back to my office and think up more ways to silence your critics.

PRESIDENT Oh, yes. That might be good. But whatever you want, really. No pressure. I just want what’s best for the country.

CHENEY Yes, the country.

I have noticed lately that my full lenghts seem to be loosely based on 10 min plays I wrote 2, 3, 4, 5 years ago. I wrote a cowboy comedy 10 min play and then I wrote a full length cowboy comedy hamlet. I wrote a 10 min film noir comedy and then more recently I wrote a full length film noir and now I seem to be writing a version of my 10 min play America At War. I'll let you know how it goes.

ny times

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/10/world/asia/10assess.html?hp&ex=1160539200&en=4476571b6d74d04a&ei=5094&partner=homepage

"Mr. Bush and his aides contend that Iraq was the more urgent threat, in a volatile neighborhood. But the North’s reported nuclear test now raises the question of whether it is too late for the president to make good on his promise that he would never let the world’s “worst dictators” obtain the world’s most dangerous weapons. "

Thanks to Mike Daisey for pointing this out. The Daily show is the reason I got cable. Check this article out.

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20061004-7908.html

The Daily Show is as substantive as the "real" news 10/4/2006 4:36:32 PM, by Eric Bangeman

The Daily Show is much funnier than traditional newscasts, but a new study from Indiana University says it has the same amount of meat on its bones when it comes to coverage of the news. The brand of news coverage Jon Stewart and the rest of The Daily Show's staff brings to the airwaves is just as substantive as traditional news programs like World News Tonight and the CBS Evening News, according to the study conducted by IU assistant professor of telecommunications Julia R. Fox and a couple of graduate students.

http://www.progressive.org/mag_mc100406

"But the Secret Service did not take kindly to his comment.“About ten minutes later, I came back through the mall with my eight-year-old son in tow,” Howards recalls, “and this Secret Service man came out of the shadows, and his exact words were, ‘Did you assault the Vice President?’ ”

Here’s how Howards says he responded: “No, but I did tell Mr. Cheney the way I felt about the war in Iraq, and if Mr. Cheney wants to be shielded from public criticism, he should avoid public places. If exercising my constitutional rights to free speech is against the law, then you should arrest me.”

Which is just what the agent, Virgil D. “Gus” Reichle Jr, proceeded to do."

Looks like these folks will be doing my play Pretty Theft in April.

http://www.outsiders-inn.com/

And if all goes well, I could possibly have two other plays in Los Angeles at the same time this winter.

The Sandbox:

http://gocomics.typepad.com/the_sandbox/

Words from Military in Afghanistan and Iraq

if you're just tuning in, for the context for the below post, read the posts below the below post.

Dear Students,

We are pleased to tell you that after conversations with representatives from the O'Neill Playwrights Conference, including Wendy Goldberg, the artistic director of the Playwrights Conference and a board member, we have their assurance that they will not this year, or in the future, be asking for a percentage of future royalties from the plays they accept for development. They are looking for other sources of funding, but those monies will not come from your subsidiary rights. Any issue like this can be complicated, and there may have been miscommunications on all sides, nevertheless we're grateful to receive these assurances from the board and the artistic director Wendy Goldberg. So it is with great relief and happiness we once again encourage you to submit your application to the valuable O'Neill Playwrights Conference. You should also know they have extended their deadline for submission until October 23 (postmarked). If you sent out a copy of our previous email, please send out a copy of this one to the same people. We're happy to be sending good news. Sincerely yours,

Chris and Marsha 10/07/06

O'Neill Update

I have heard from multiple sources that the O'Neill is not asking for sub rights.

As Jason Grote said in the comments of the previous post, "I've been told by Wendy Goldberg that this is not true - that this was briefly on the table in May 2006 but then quickly pulled. Whether one believes that version of events - or that it was pulled in response to this outcry - it's no longer the policy at the O'Neill."

an Email I received

Dear Juilliard Mafia,

We are writing to warn you about a development at the O'Neill Playwrights Festival, a situation so serious that we can no longer recommend that you send your scripts there, and hope to discourage you from mentoring or assisting them in any way. The problem is this - from now on, the O'Neill Board is determined to demand a percentage of the playwright's subsidiary income IN PERPETUITY from any play accepted for presentation at the O'Neill. This means that for four

days of rehearsal, and a presentation with actors using scripts, you will owe them a permanent percentage of your income from that play. This is so patently unfair, and so clearly against their own mission statement, that we can only assume they have lost their minds, or perhaps decided to think of themselves as commercial producers instead of the generous, helpful organization they used to be, devoted to playwrights and their work.

They tried to demand this participation from two writers this summer, but were thwarted by efforts by the Dramatists Guild, and the agent for two of the writers, John Buzzetti. Both writers said they would

pull their work if this provision was attached and the O'Neill backed down, saying that since no warning was given, it wasn't fair to ask for the percentage. But last month they announced they would be demanding the percentage from the writers whose work was accepted this summer.

We urge you not to submit your scripts to the O'Neill. We urge you to talk to your agents about this, and not participate in any way. We are afraid this is the beginning of the end for an institution we have all admired and cherished. This is part of a disturbing trend in "development" organizations, where playwrights are increasingly expected to pay for their productions, in spite of the fact that those organizations raise money and get grants claiming that they exist to help playwrights. More and more, it's looking like those organizations exist to support themselves, not their writers. In this regard, beware of any contest that charges you more than $15 to apply, because that's about what readers are being paid these days.

Over and over again in class, we urged you to get over feeling grateful, and defend yourself in situations where you sense you are being taken advantage of. So this is just us saying it again. Do not give your work away, and do not pay somebody to produce it, and

do not grant rights that are excessive. Do not encumber your work with percentages to people who think they deserve them just because they recognized you were good.

Please pass this information along to anyone you think could use it. The only way to impress on the O'Neill the insanity of what they are doing, is to deny them the plays that they need. Many of us have tried talking to them, and they are not listening. So we are taking this step, and encouraging all writing teachers in America to contact their students in the same way.

All our best,

Chris Durang and Marsha Norman

free speech?

so here at Columbia, the Minuteman founder was forced off the stage yesterday by protesting students. he was planning to speak against illegal immigration.

These students turned him into a victim. By attacking him physically instead of debating him, they helped him get more media attention and gave him more venues to speak his views, instead of silencing him as they intended.

What is going on? The practices of the current administration are being accepted by the general public--the idea that everyone should not be allowed to say what they want. Just call the media liberal and they will bend over backwards to not tell the "liberal" side of the story. Tell the country they are traitors and unamerican and against God if they dare question your policies. Or just refuse to talk to them unless they ask the easy questions.

Bush surrounds himself with people who will never criticize or question him. He squelches debate by playing the father who knows best. It's hard to debate someone too who won't tell you what's going on, refuses to tell the truth. Clinton lied about sex. Bush's lying brought us into Iraq and thousands and thousands of people have died because of it. He has turned the US into a terrorist country that ignores the Geneva convention and tortures people--people who may or may not even be involved with terrorist networks.

And he wants the power to tap the phones without warrants, and jail anyone including you or me without any proof of wrongdoing or any way for you or I to ever get out of jail, because you can't get a lawyer if you haven't been charged with anything. So you just sit in your foreign jail until they torture you to death.

Meanwhile the terrorist threat is worse because of Iraq. The rest of the world sees our country does not respect human life, that we set a bad example. We are a world power and we are a fucking asshole who refuses to listen to other people's opinions who only responds with violence. Because we know best. Like these Columbia kids.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuNXmy0e5fc

At the end of the video some guy says that republicans would never respond that way. with violence. and this is partially true. They don't have to when they can get the cops and the army to do it for them.

Is it bad that I am considering not entering contests this year because I can't be bothered to write a synopsis of any of my plays?

Thanks to Matt Freeman for locating this online

http://www.playscripts.com/raisethewage/

Raising the minimum wage for playwrights

some useful information

Halloween is coming up and here is some useful information for all those of you who do not want to spend eternity burning in hellfire away from God's love.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/sermons/halloween.html

"Will Jesus Sling Little Children Into Hell For Celebrating Halloween? A Word From Our Pastor

Quite frankly, the answer is, absolutely yes! The Bible teaches us that Jesus Christ is very choosy when it comes to picking people to live with Him for eternity. Why else would He refer to His followers as the chosen people if He wasn't choosy? The fact that He initially chose the Jews, who, out of all the folks on the planet, were the ones who winded up killing Him, only underscores that the Lord has learned the hard way that it pays to be even more selective in picking folks to be nice to!"

At the NYTR benefit last night, (not the NYTR benefit) finally got to meet George and MattJ. Also in attendance, Dan, Mac, James, Mark, The Talented Actor Jason Grote, and the Sheila "the Voice" Callaghan and probably a bunch of other people. Thanks to Alexis and Jason for a tremedous job in my little play and thanks to Kip for outstanding direction. Parties like this should happen every night.

see you at the brick tonight.

someday again

I'm going

isaac's post

http://parabasis.typepad.com/blog/2006/10/do_your_part.html

bad news

Thanks to Mike Daisey for this

Legalizing Tyranny

Andrew Sullivan

http://time.blogs.com/daily_dish/2006/09/legalizing_tyra.html

"How do I put this in words as clearly as possible. If the U.S. government decides, for reasons of its own, that you are an "illegal enemy combatant," i.e. that you are someone who

"has engaged in hostilities or who has purposefully and materially supported hostilities against the United States,"

they can detain you without charges indefinitely, granting you no legal recourse except to a military tribunal, and, under the proposed bill, "disappear" and torture you. This is not just restricted to aliens or foreigners, but applies to U.S. citizens as well. It can happen anywhere in the U.S. at any time. We are all at potential risk."

For the upcoming New York Theatre Review benefit (Oct 2 starting at 8pm at the Brick--seeya there.) I was asked along with some other playwrights to write a 2 minute play on the subject of critics.

Kip Fagan will direct my piece and if all goes well, it will star Jason Grote and Alexis Soloski.

This is the play. Please do come out I think it will be a fun time and fellow bloggers George Hunka and Sheila Callaghan will be in attendance, the latter performing a song. (both of them also having written pieces for the show.)

MIND OF THE CRITIC By Adam Szymkowicz

MELINDA Welcome to the mind of the critic. He sits in his designated seat. He checks to make sure his shoes are tied. He checks his fly to make sure it’s closed. He glances through his press packet.

CRITIC Why did I get stuck reviewing this play?

MELINDA --he thinks. He knows it will be bad. He knows it. Yet he has hope. A tiny glimmer. So small it’s almost not there.

CRITIC Why did I get stuck with this one?

MELINDA He’s trapped. He can’t leave. The play begins.

CRITIC Oh. This could be ok. Oh, ok. It’s fine.

MELINDA Ten minutes in.

CRITIC How long is this play?

MELINDA Thirty minutes in.

CRITIC Is there an intermission? I could leave at intermission.

MELINDA He looks at his program.

CRITIC No intermission.

MELINDA Forty minutes in.

CRITIC Eggs Butter Milk Toilet Paper Orange Juice Frozen Pizza Ummm Eggs

MELINDA Fifty minutes in.

CRITIC Kill me. Please kill me. I want to die. I can’t watch this. I can’t be here one more minute. I want to slash my wrists. I want to disembowel myself with a garden trowel. Pull out my insides. Scrape out my heart. Rip out my lungs from my newly cracked-open chest. I’m going to vomit. This is unbearable. Unconscionable. Stab me. I want to die.

MELINDA Fifty five minutes in.

CRITIC I can’t . . . I can’t . . this is. Oh, God.

MELINDA He has a realization.

CRITIC She doesn’t love me. She never loved me. How could she lie to me all that time? (Pause) Shit! I forgot to call Michael.

MELINDA Sixty-five minutes in. He suddenly sees something. An actress doing something true and painful and sad and funny and terrible and lovely all at once. He looks through his press packet. Who is she? She’s amazing. He is rapt.

CRITIC How are you doing that? Don’t stop. You’re charming. You’re wonderful. You make being alive feel ok.

MELINDA Then she forgets her line. Awkward silence. He wants her to recover. He hurts for her. Another actor tries to cover but fails. They are not making sense anymore. The actress runs off the stage. The Critic is crushed.

CRITIC My girl—

MELINDA The play continues. Or something like the play. The critic sighs, takes notes. Checks to see if his shoes are tied. One hundred and three minutes into the play. The actress returns. She is humbled. She is hunched. She is terrified but says her lines or what the critic assumes her lines are. The critic has a realization. He looks at the actress and sees himself.

CRITIC I love you.

MELINDA And then the play is over. He claps politely. Gathers his notes. Goes home to feed his cats and to write his review.