a scene i had to delete from incendiary

i like this scene. i'm sorry to have to lose it. Scene 25 (TOMMY, JIMMY, GARY and CARRIE in CARRIE’s burnt office. JIMMY is flipping through a phone book.) CARRIE My rug. TOMMY And you sure she went to this boyfriend’s house. CARRIE I’m not sure but where else would she go? JIMMY Statberg? CARRIE No. It was Jake Statsomething. JIMMY Stathouse? CARRIE No. TOMMY Keep looking. CARRIE I loved that rug. I can’t believe she burned that rug. You remember when I got that rug, Gary? Gary? GARY So we’re cool now, right? TOMMY I don’t know what you mean. Do you know what he means? JIMMY I haven’t the foggiest. GARY So you can leave me alone now and go after her. TOMMY Well, how do we know she set the other building on fire? JIMMY That’s true. We don’t know that. CARRIE She did set it on fire. GARY When you catch her, I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it. JIMMY Yeah but . . . GARY What? TOMMY See the thing is, you can’t really believe what people tell you under torture. GARY Then why do you do it? JIMMY It’s our nature. Statler? CARRIE No. GARY So what? I have to go with you? CARRIE Yeah, yeah, let’s go with them. GARY Darling. CARRIE What? GARY You’re not helping. TOMMY You still owe Liz some spy stuff, right? I think you better come along with us at least until we get a hold of this dame. GARY But he’s a cop. Why am I following you to some cop’s house? JIMMY He’s a cop? CARRIE Yeah. Detective Jake Stasomething. TOMMY We’re going to some detective’s house? JIMMY What, all of a sudden you are afraid of the law? TOMMY I just want to get it clear. We’re going to go in there and get some broad from some cop? GARY You can’t handle that? TOMMY I can handle don’t ask me what I can handle. CARRIE Do you think I’m a bad therapist? I mean she’s right, I didn’t help her stop setting fires. But sometimes it made her so happy I didn’t even want to help her. Helping her would hurt her. You should have seen the look on her face when she talked about it. It was like when we were first married, Gary how you used to look at me. Why don’t you look at me like that anymore? Was it something I did or something I said or did you just grow sick of me or is it something else? You know, we go to school get our license and everything but really it’s all instinct and my instinct was telling me to let her set fires throughout the city. Am I a bad person? Is that why you don’t look at me like that anymore? JIMMY Hey, now, I bet you’re a really good therapist. TOMMY Jimmy Splinters is right. I already feel better just being in this room. Although I do think you should get a new rug. JIMMY I know a guy. CARRIE But do you feel your antisocial impulses confirmed? TOMMY I’m very social. CARRIE Or are you going to give it all up because you realize it’s wrong and harmful to society. JIMMY What we do is not harmful to society. We are like checks and balances. Some guy gets out of line, he’s got to be put into check. GARY How noble. TOMMY Don’t get smart. JIMMY Wait, is it Jake Stratford? CARRIE Yeah. I think so. JIMMY Tommy, you remember Detective Stratford? TOMMY No . . . oh, yeah. (sincerely) A shame about his wife. JIMMY That was a shame. Here it is. Twenty Sixth street. TOMMY Let’s go. Scene 26

short play going up in dc

http://www.madcapplayers.com/ anuary 19, 20, 25, 26 and 27, 2007 at 8:00 PM January 21 and 28, 2007 at 2:00 PM Pay-What-You-Can Preview January 18, 2007 at 8:00 PM (Pay-What-You-Can tickets are only available at the door on January 18 after 7:00 PM.) Run time: 2 hours and 15 minutes including one intermission. H STREET PLAYHOUSE 1365 H Street NE, Washington, DC Click here for a map to the theatre. There is ample on-street parking available after rush hour (6:30pm). ALL TICKETS ARE $15 available by calling 1.800.494.TIXS or visiting www.boxtofficetickets.com The Junior Banana-Boat Free-Balloon Special By Joe Byers Directed by Christopher Snipe Featuring: Grace Ross, Terry Nicholetti and Fredric Ashley Surprise By Mark Harvey Levine Directed by Patrick Torres Featuring: Jason McCool, Erin Kaufman and Samantha Merrick Howard By Mark Harvey Levine Directed by Akiva Fox Featuring: Leo Goodman, Neil Conway and Bill Brannigan The Lullabies of Farewell By Gary Raymond Fry, Jr. Directed by Paul Douglas Michnewicz Featuring: James Ray Biggs and Vanessa Kinzey High Noon By Adam Szymkowicz Directed by Chris Davenport Featuring: Peter Stray, Ashley Demain and Lucas Maloney Writer's Block By Hilary Trudell Directed by Merry Alderman Featuring: James Garland, Annie Mueller and Peter Stray Adonis Written and Directed by Shanna Beauchamp Choreographed by Andrew Honeycutt Featuring: Miriam Ganz, Lucas Maloney, Alex Zavistovich and Jjana Valentiner Lost Sock: Have You Seen Me? By Shawn Northrip Directed by Betsy Rosen Musical Direction by Jeffery Watson Featuring Matt Lopez, Andrew Kreysa, Tyler Smith, Katie Molinaro, Meredith Rachlin, Leo Goodman and Brianne Cobuzzi

meme meme meme

5 things you may not know about me...hmm...

Tagged by james

http://jamespeak.blogspot.com/2007/01/gettin-to-know-your-comtois.html

no one else tag me for anything OK?

5 things you may not know about me...hmm...hmm hmmm
hmm hmm

1. I was an Eagle Scout.

2. I once had a job as a deckhand on the CT river. I
had to carry kegs of beer and big bags of trash, throw
the lines on the posts when we docked. I also
sometimes had to steer the boat. They made you buy
their shirt and wear it as a uniform. I was 17 and
was making 5 dollars an hour. The next summer I was a
tour guide at Gillette Castle State Park which is "on"
but not on the CT river.

3. I don't drink coffee or soda.

4. I have a terrible, some might say nonexistent
sense of direction.

5. I am allergic to chicken and turkey. (actually
many of you already know that so I'll do one more)

6. I'm writing a novel. Did I tell you I'm writing a
novel? I'm writing a novel. slowly. 7. I once had long blue hair. really.

I'm not tagging anyone but feel free to talk about
yourself, everyone.

I'm looking for

one person shows with multiple characters that i could
read. who knows some?

A

mid jan short play in MA

http://www.acmetheater.com/index.asp Acme Theater of Maynard, MA is pleased to announce our lineup for the 6th annual New Works Winter Festival. The festival will be performed on January 12, 13, 19 and 20 at 8PM. All tickets $12. Call the Box office 978-823-0003 for your reservation today! TRACK A (Performs Fri, Jan 12 and Sat, Jan 20) Ariel by John C. Davenport Ambience Pizza by Adam Szymkowicz Cloud 7 by Lisa Burdick Jumping The Wind by Tara Meddaugh One More To Go by Debbie Wiess Have A Seat, Please by Steven Bergman Brother Santa Sister Clause by Jay Hanagan A Match Lit In Heaven by Lila Louise Nawrocki Still Life by K. Alexa Mavromatis TRACK B (Performs Sat, Jan 13 and Fri, Jan 19) Still Life With Elephant by John Shanahan Do Twinkle Lights Really Change The Atmosphere? by Anne Freund The Rental by Mark Harvey Levine Goons by David Robson Patrick and Gwen by Philana Gnatowski The Catharsis by Kristyn Leigh Robinson Elephants and Coffee by Aoise Stratford Mouse Trapped by Claudia Haas Ranch on the Run by Paul Kahn

ny times on free will

"The order of brain activities seemed to be perception
of motion, and then decision, rather than the other
way around.

In short, the conscious brain was only playing
catch-up to what the unconscious brain was already
doing. The decision to act was an illusion, the monkey
making up a story about what the tiger had already
done."

and

"Dr. Wegner of Harvard said: "We worry that explaining
evil condones it. We have to maintain our outrage at
Hitler. But wouldn't it be nice to have a theory of
evil in advance that could keep him from coming to
power?"

He added, "A system a bit more focused on helping
people change rather than paying them back for what
they've done might be a good thing.""

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/02/science/02free.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5087%0A&em&en=30114785d6264b5f&ex=1167973200

the James Comtois 06 list

I made the comtois top ten list twice for this year
along with some plays I loved, some I didn't see and
one i downright hated.

check it out here

http://jamespeak.blogspot.com/2007/01/top-10-of-2006.html

what the fuck is a meme?

Ok, so I’ve been tagged twice for this. I generally stay out but I guess I don’t want the wrath of Matt Freeman ( http://matthewfreeman.blogspot.com/ ) or my ex-roommate, ( http://litdept.blogspot.com/2006/12/i-was-it-now-youre-it.html )both of them terrific playwrights who have the ability to crush a person if you know what i mean. This is what I have to do: 1) Find the nearest book 2) Open to page 123 3) Type lines 6 - 8 of said book 4) Tag three others. 1 Women by Charles Bukowski 2 ok 3 opened it. I took it an hid it in the broom closet. “Bobby,” she said over the phone, “this is Tammie. Did you just phone? Where’s your wife? Listen, I’ll be right down.” 4 I refuse to tag three others. I tag everyone instead. If you read this you must do it. If you don’t have a blog, you must email it to three people. Or you could say fuck you Adam and loudly refuse to do it and curse my name in public and private. But please do something, for christsake, oh and HappyNewYear!!!

Ancient ice shelf snaps and breaks free from Canadian Arctic

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2006/12/29/america/NA_GEN_Canada_Arctic_Ice_Break.php

thanks to jason Grote for the link

Thanks to global warming for this serious indication
of climate change.

and then there were some

I have to revise incendiary in the next few days.
It's going up at Juilliard in mid-Feb starring 2nd
year Juilliard actors and directed by Mr. Kip Fagan.
Here are the dates:

Wednesday, February 14th @1:30pm
Thursday, February 15th @ 7:00pm
Friday, February 16th @ 7:00pm
Saturday, February 17th @ 2:00pm
Sunday, February 18th @ 7:00pm

Hope you can make one of these. I didn't anything
done on the revision but got some novelling work done
today.

http://www.szymkowicznaked.blogspot.com/

Of course my
word count is far behind those novel-a-month november
writers but i hope to have my first draft done before
my 30th birthday in August.

Hope everyone is having a good holiday.

Here is

a seven minute musical from Kip Fagan and Herbert
Bergel starring many Seattle theaterites you know and
love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjOsO6cg6lA

from ny times

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/18/world/middleeast/18justice.html?em&ex=1166677200&en=6e0bc0a2c4ca1ce4&ei=5087%0A

"The detainee was Donald Vance, a 29-year-old Navy
veteran from Chicago who went to Iraq as a security
contractor. He wound up as a whistle-blower, passing
information to the F.B.I. about suspicious activities
at the Iraqi security firm where he worked, including
what he said was possible illegal weapons trading"

...

"Even Saddam Hussein had more legal counsel than I
ever had," said Mr. Vance, who said he planned to sue
the former defense secretary, Donald H. Rumsfeld, on
grounds that his constitutional rights had been
violated. "While we were detained, we wrote a letter
to the camp commandant stating that the same
democratic ideals we are trying to instill in the
fledgling democratic country of Iraq, from simple due
process to the Magna Carta, we are absolutely,
positively refusing to follow ourselves."

A Christmas Play

The Global Warming Christmas Pageant (Christmas lights fill the stage. Perhaps there are large candy canes and snow. Enter the SNOWMAN NARRATOR) SNOWMAN NARRATOR Let me tell you the story of the Christmas which almost never was. (Enter SANTA in an easy chair, surrounded by elves.) SNOWMAN NARRATOR For fifty years the elves had been saying ELVES Santa, we’ve got to do something about all the toy factory smoke. (Lights up on toy smokestacks in the distance turning out fat plumes of smoke) SNOWMAN NARRATOR And Santa would reply. SANTA Nonsense! SNOWMAN NARRATOR Or SANTA Yeah Yeah yeah. SNOWMAN NARRATOR Or SANTA If I hear one more word about it, I’m revoking all the Christmas bonuses. SNOWMAN NARRATOR The elves were despondent. ELVES We are despondent. SNOWMAN NARRATOR They knew any good they did by making toys for children was canceled out by the bad bad smokestacks which were making greenhouse gases that would forever alter the climate of the Earth. ELVES That makes us sad. SNOWMAN NARRATOR But more immediately, they knew that the North Pole was in some serious trouble. They tried again to reason with Santa. ELF 1 The ice in the North Pole is disappearing. We need to do something about our emissions. SANTA (smoking) Nonsense. A little smoke never hurt anyone. ELF 2 But the scientists say-- SANTA I don’t believe in science. I believe in magic. ELF 3 So maybe you could use some magic to prevent global climate change. SANTA I have toy making magic. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now please go. I want to test out the new Wii. SNOWMAN NARRATOR The day came when the elves had to leave the North Pole. (ELVES pack up suitcases.) SNOWMAN NARRATOR There was no longer enough ice to walk on. It all cracked and melted. (The candy canes fall over. The snow melts.) SNOWMAN NARRATOR The polar bears were drowning. The elves built big boats and decided to emigrate to Canada in droves. I have to go too. I’m going to die here. I’m melting. It’s so warm. It’s so warm. (The SNOWMAN sits down and tries to get cold.) ELVES Santa, we’re going to go now. We built boats. Are you coming. SANTA No, I’m going to stay here. ELVES But there will be no more North Pole. Your house will fall into the ocean. There will be nowhere to stand. SANTA I’ll be fine. ELF 4 Your wife left a long time ago. SANTA I know she left! LITTLEST ELF Santa, have you been drinking? SANTA What of it? Leave an old man in peace. SNOWMAN NARRATOR And so the elves left to start their lives over and Santa sat and cried and sat and cried. (SANTA cries loudly) SNOWMAN NARRATOR And then the day came when his house sank into the ocean. (SANTA falls off his chair. The SNOWMAN is lying down too.) SNOWMAN NARRATOR I’m having trouble breathing. I’m melting, children. SANTA I can’t swim. The water is so cold. SNOWMAN NARRATOR It’s so warm. SANTA It’s so cold. SNOWMAN NARRATOR Not cold enough. At this point Santa began to drown. (SANTA begins to drown.) SNOWMAN NARRATOR But wait, stop because there is something you can do. SANTA Clap your hands together and say I do believe in Santa Claus. I do believe in Santa Claus. (The ELVES come out.) SNOWMAN NARRATOR, ELVES, SANTA (Clapping) I do believe in Santa Claus. I do believe in Santa Claus. SANTA Christmas is saved! Hurrah! SNOWMAN NARRATOR OK, well, maybe this year it's ok. But that’s just a band aid. I’m still melting an’ everything. Now go home and turn off the lights after you leave the room and don’t use so much water and tell your parents to use low energy light bulbs and that they should stop driving such big cars and perhaps, perhaps Santa won’t die of asphyxiation after all of his elves leave him to live in Canada. Good night, and Merry Christmas. http://www.climatecrisis.net/takeaction/

an email i received today (really)

Dear Mr. Szymkowicz,

Hello! I am the Director of Public Relations at the
Church of Scientology of New York.

Since the 2004 grand opening of our newly renovated
building, we have had tremendous amounts of students
entering our building searching for the answer to the
question "What is Scientology?" Our team in the
Introductory Services department is responsible for
acquainting people with basic information on
Scientology and Dianetics. With a variety of simple
brochures, pamphlets, short videos, and information
panels, this team is easily able to explain the
different aspects of Scientology. However, there are
still many more students throughout New York, New
Jersey, etc. that have this question and perhaps, have
been unable to get it answered.

For this reason, I would like to invite you, your
students, and co-workers for a tour of the Church of
Scientology of New York . I can show you the
following: facilities that deliver different types of
life improvement services, information panels that
display a thorough and clear explanation of what this
religion is, and our most recent campaigns that help
solve social and cultural problems. In addition, I
would be happy to answer any questions you may have.

I am available to tour Monday through Friday, from 9
a.m. to 6 p.m. each day. I would be pleased to have
small or large crowds so feel free to pass this
invitation on to anyone who is interested in finding
more about Scientology.

Please call me at (xxxxxxx), extension xxx or e-mail
me at xxxxxxxx@gmail.com so that we can schedule an
appointment at your convenience.

I look forward to hearing from you and can promise you
in advance - you will be amazed as to how much we
really do here at the Church!

Best,

XXXX XXXXX
Director of Public Relations
Church of Scientology New York
xxx West xxth Street
New York, NY xxxxx
xxxxxxx

vote, it may count.

http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2006/11/22/florida_13/index.html

"The Florida Elections Canvassing Commission, which is
made up of Gov. Jeb Bush and two other elected
Republican officials, said that the results of the
recount showed Buchanan had beaten Democrat Christine
Jennings by 369 votes in a race where nearly 240,000
votes were cast. The commission awarded the victory to
Buchanan despite the fact that the mystery of more
than 18,000 missing votes has not been resolved. "

voting machines in FL

http://washingtontimes.com/national/20061213-010659-5624r.htm

monday random ten

Killing Parrots--The Why Nots
Orphan Sister--Mercury in Gatorade
Bumble Bee Heaven (Taste's Like)--Bouillon Cubes
I Shot The Sherriff--Jodi and the Justice League
Lim BumDee Lim BaDoo--Led Jones
Seven Brides--Sad Fingers
The Long Dark Hallway--People With Faces
The Truth (I'm Hiding It)--G Men
Don't Tell Me What You Don't Want Me To Know--Flow
Reasonable--Floyd Britchcraft

Blue Coyote

K tells me there is something very interesting and
worthwhile and unpretentious going on over at the
Access Theatre. I'll be there Friday. Catch it if
you can. I am told there are lots of penises in the
show and blasphemy and a little bit of violence.

Blue Coyote Theater Group presents:

The Standards of Decency Project

Blue Coyote Theater Group has challenged nine fearless
emerging playwrights to create ten-minute plays that
feature at least one of the following: 1) nudity, 2)
violence, or 3) blasphemy, in a manner that is fully
warranted and justified (that is, that avoids mere
gratuitousness or sensationalism), while also intended
to offend conventional standards of decency. Vaguely
inspired by the FCC regulatory crackdown following
Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" at the
SuperBowl XXXVIII halftime show, Blue Coyote seeks to
spark a discussion about the uses and abuses of
transgressive performance onstage. All nine plays
will be performed complete and uncut for one week
only at the Access Theater.

Featuring new works by David Johnston, Mathew Freeman
, David Foley, Brian Dykstra, Boo Killebrew, Laura
Henry, Kristen Palmer, John Yearley, and Stan
Richardson.

At the Access Theater
380 Broadway, 4th Fl. (at White St.)
One week only! Dec 12th – 17th, all performances at
8pm
Tickets $18 via www.smarttix.com
See http://www.bluecoyote.org for more details.

http://www.savedarfur.org/pages/lobby_congress/

and this--more about oxytocin (not oxycotin)

http://www.hugthemonkey.com/

creepy

http://www.verolabs.com/

2 things

I am too old to stay out till 2 am two days in a row.

http://www.szymkowicznaked.blogspot.com/

>From Andrew Sullivan

http://time.blogs.com/daily_dish/2006/12/quote_for_the_d_8.html

via Mike Daisey

http://www.mikedaisey.com/

"Some reports are issued and just gather dust. And
truth of the matter is, a lot of reports in Washington
are never read by anybody. To show you how important
this one is, I read it," - George W. Bush today.

Does he have to make Jon Stewart's job that easy?

manifesto for a theatregoer

The kind of theatre I want to see, the theatre I most enjoy, the theatre I am willing to pay money to see, the theatre I give the benefit of the doubt to even if it’s not all working completely is like this: I like plays where I know the playwright is reaching towards something or struggling with something. I like the playwright who says I am troubled by this and think it should be on the stage. I like it when a play is written about something important to the playwright. I like plays that experiment with language or form. I like visually beautiful and theatrical plays. I like plays in which actors use movement, voice, rhythm in unusual ways. I like funny plays. I like smart plays. I like plays that make me think. I like plays with a lot of heart about people trying to connect with other people. I like plays with tight construction that keep you on the edge of your seat. I like plays that are about something, not plays that pretend to be about something. I like plays that are constantly surprising. I don’t like plays where I don’t learn anything. I don’t like plays where horrible things after horrible things happen to characters and there is no hope. I especially don’t like it when characters do evil things without any real reason. I don’t like it when a play is produced and there are clear problems of consistency or flabby writing that could have been fixed but weren’t. I like plays directed by geniuses. I like plays with quirky characters. I like plays that star actors that are too interesting for Hollywood. Sometimes I like musicals. I like plays that are fun. I don’t like plays about celebrities. Or that star celebrities, especially if that is all the play has going for it. I like witty plays. And clever plays. I like plays that make me think of bright colors. I like ninety minute plays and sixty minute plays. I like plays about love.

last month

So I finished a play at the beginning of november and
am 20 pages into another play. I have also been
writing a novel. I have nine thousand something
words. Which is not tons but it's something. I
word-counted some of my plays and some of the
hour-long ones are about that long. which means i
wrote about as much as an hour long play this month.
the bad news is that it will take me at least 5 or 6
more months to finish the book at this pace, i think.
i have no idea how long it will be actually. but that
means i will have to work this hard or harder and that
means (if word count means anything) that it will be
like writing 2 or 3 or 4 full length plays. except
that it's not like that. it's not like that at all.